My wife and I divorced a few years ago. I was cheating on her and she found out. At the time, I didn’t care because I was with someone I really liked. I destroyed my relationship with my children, my wife, my in-laws and all our friends. All for a woman who pretended to adore me…. until she didn’t.

Then I found myself alone and it all hit me in the face. I tried to apologize to my ex, but it was too late. I tried to talk to my in-laws, but they also weren’t interested. I didn’t even try with my kids. I worked on myself in hopes of becoming a better person.

Time has passed and I feel great about where I’m at in life. I decided to take a chance with my ex – but I’m too late. She’s moved on. She has a new boyfriend who the kids seem to love. I asked around and he’s apparently an awesome guy who everyone loves.

Now what do I do?

Screwed Up

You walk away! You’ve caused everyone enough pain. You behaved selfishly, you let lust get in the way of logic, and you disrespected your entire family.

They’ve moved on. You should too. Except for your kids – you owe them an opportunity at a relationship. They might not want you back in their lives, and that’s their choice. But don’t stop trying with them.

My daughter’s boyfriend reminds me of Eddie Haskell, from “Leave it to Beaver.” If you don’t know what I’m referring to, there’s a syndrome, aptly called the Eddie Haskell Syndrome. It’s the definition of someone who is overly charming and respectful to authority, such as parents, but is actually manipulative, cruel and unkind to peers and those “junior” to them when authority isn’t around.

Needless to say, I’m concerned for my daughter. She’s young, slightly immature for her age and impressionable. I fear he’s taking advantage of her naivete. I know better than to disallow the relationship, but then where does that leave me?

Worried Dad

First, if your daughter has a mother – whether you two are married or not – talk to her and inform her of your concerns. See where her thoughts lie. It’s best if you two are unified in your approach. I know that’s often not the case in parenting, but in this case, there is definitely strength in numbers.

If she’s on board, talk to your daughter together, as concerned parents. Don’t tell her that you think her boyfriend is this or that. Instead, ask her to tell you about him. What does she like about him? What is his personality like? Is there anything about him she finds different, or concerning, or out of the ordinary?

The goal is to get your daughter to see him for who he really is before he (potentially) hurts her (emotionally). Once you’ve planted the seed, you just need to let her live her life. However, there is nothing wrong with keeping a watchful eye.

It’s only January and I’m starting to feel the negative effects of the winter. It’s cold. It’s dark. It’s miserable. I’m afraid to walk outside because I’m afraid to slip and fall and break a bone. I’m not old, but I’m not a kid anymore.

I leave for work and it’s cold and dark. No one smiles on the subway. Everyone is miserable. And the same thing happens on my way home.

I’m not going to make it to spring!

Dark and depressed

You need sunshine and laughter! The obvious suggestion, if feasible, is to grab yourself a few days somewhere warm. If that’s not possible, invite some friends over, purchase or rent a sunlight therapy lamp (available on Amazon for under $100), and turn up your heater. Make pina coladas and watch a rom-com.

Then smile at everyone you see on the TTC and see how your mood will brighten their day.

FEEDBACK Regarding the teenage dynamics (Oct. 28):

Reader – “It seems to me the oldest daughter is crying out for some one-on-one time with each parent. It's easy to think the oldest should be able to manage on her own when the needs of younger siblings can take up a lot of time and attention. She knows it would be horrible to pick on the youngest, so all that anger gets directed at her brother.

“Perhaps the parents could schedule some relaxed, regular one-on-one time with each child each week. It could be low-key: a nighttime walk with Dad, a trip to the park with just one younger child, a coffee or hot chocolate date with Mum, or just a ride-along when doing errands.

“Something enjoyable, but it's really the regularity and finding little one-on-one opportunities. Bigger kids are still kids, and they need to know they're worth spending time with.”