I’m a man, 57, who most people think is early-40’s (I’ve always looked younger than I am). Because of this, now that I’m single after a long marriage, it’s hard to date.
I’m also very young at heart. Growing up I was undiagnosed with ADHD and a severe anxiety disorder. So my social skills were always behind my age and I progressed slower than my peers.
I didn’t marry and become a father until I was 40 and now have two teenagers I co-parent, sharing custody with my ex-wife. I take the same medications as my son for ADHD.
I’m considered the “Cool” dad because I don’t tell Dad jokes and I play video games. Often the same ones my teenagers play.
I’m an avid technologist in Software Development and earn a six-figure income twice the normal family combined income.
I was heavily influenced by the 60’s and am somewhat of a counter-culture rebel (in a fun way) and still a free spirit with some hippie, love-humanity-attitude, but I don’t do drugs.
I’ve reached the point where I’m completely comfortable in my own skin. I talk to almost anyone freely and easily. I don’t fear chitchat because I genuinely enjoy talking to and meeting people.
The challenge now is this: Due to my working downtown only younger woman express any interest in me.
I have grey hair, but am fairly good looking, but I don’t start any flirting, I just genuinely talk to them (as I do most people), usually make them laugh and treat them with respect.
But I never ask them out. I’m not against any age-gap in adult relationships, and I’m not against having more children, but I figure they’d prefer dating someone closer to their age.
I rarely share my true age because to be honest, I like the attention, and I know I won’t ask them out.
I’m underwhelmed with online dating sites and so when my ex-wife has custody I happily entertain myself at home.
However, I’d like to date again but have no idea what to do. My ex-wife pushed out my friends, and then kept hers. I’m slowly rebuilding a social network but it’s tough where I live and meeting viable singles is nearly impossible.
I don’t like contrived scenarios so I’m struggling to find a way to meet a confident, spunky woman with a great sense of humor.
Calendar age doesn’t matter (Helen Mirren has to be one of the sexiest women alive). However, considering most in my family live until their 90’s and I’m very healthy, I’d prefer someone as healthy as me, which means someone closer to my age or younger.
Lucky you! Not just because you look and feel young in body and at heart, but also because there are countless confident, spunky women out there!!
You just have to do the work of going out to find them. They’re at community meetings speaking out about things they care about (including current counter-culture issues caring about humanity), at various meetup.com groups (follow your own interests in choosing some), at art fairs, music concerts, in bookstores, etc.
Since chat comes easily to you, start conversations that besides making people laugh, reveal some truths about you, including your age.
You’re 57, successful, healthy, somewhat of a geek but outgoing, and enjoy being a dad to two teenagers.
You just have to start getting out of your house to socialize.
You’ll be meeting and finding terrific women to date, very soon.
Dear Readers - Nearing Easter, I’m reminded of the many people who, at holiday times, write about 1) adult children who ignore/resent their parents’ family traditions; or 2) difficult relatives who make holidays tense for everyone involved:
Here’s a past Reader’s Commentary regarding two adult children and spouses who refused to have a third sibling join them for Christmas dinner once the parents couldn’t host it due to house renovations (Dec. 15):
“I encourage the parents to see the forced break from the old tradition as an opportunity to establish a new one focusing on themselves.
“Tell each (adult) child that you’ve chosen to go on a cruise or (affordable) vacation away and you look forward to getting together individually at a later time to share the photos and stories.
“This alleviates the elephant in the room as a topic when they do meet with each of the sibling units, with the trip as their focus for discussions.”
Tip of the day:
Age doesn’t define us; attitude and how we treat others does.