I’m the youngest of three brothers who all grew up together in the same home in the same city with our parents. One of the brothers stayed home for university while the other two went to university out of town. Over the course of our lifetimes, we have moved away and returned and moved away and returned and travelled, etc.

Now we are all adults, all married with families of our own. Due to varying circumstances, my two older brothers have moved away. Is it my responsibility to stay home and take care of our parents?

The Baby

It’s not your responsibility alone…. It’s yours and both your brothers to make sure your parents are well taken care of, whatever that looks like. As you’re the only one in the same locale, the everyday stuff will fall more on you than them. Depending on your parents’ age, health and capabilities, you’ll see how much time you need to put into their care. If it becomes too much, you and your brothers may need to hire help. And/or your brothers may need to book visits home more frequently to help you out.

If for some reason, you also get called away, there’s no reason for you not to go. Again, much depends on your parents’ health and well-being, and the ease and proximity of your brothers to pop home when and if need be.

I enjoy reading your column - you show people how others overcome their misfortunes, and then you can apply it to your own life. I don’t always relate to the issue at hand, but just recently I did. On March 21, you wrote about a family and their unfortunate seating problem on an airline. I had a similar issue with an airline several years ago, when my sons, aged 10 and 12, and I arrived at the airport for a flight to Rome. The kids were issued boarding passes, and I was put on standby. There was no other adult travelling with us, and the boys don't speak Italian (besides, we were heading to a cruise ship).

I turned purple and started screeching in a voice so high that only dogs could hear me. The staff began to assure me that usually someone didn't show up and that I would get a seat, and after an hour I was told I could board the plane. That experience took a couple of years from my life, I am sure.

But what are people supposed to do in that situation?

Andiamo!

Flying today is nothing like the luxurious travel days of years ago. Today it’s like getting on a bus with wings. I recently flew home from New York City and could barely stand up straight in the plane, it was so small. They were offering incentives to anyone who wanted to get on another flight. My understanding was that the flight was oversold, which, according to the gate agent, happens on almost every single flight.

There was also a woman flying with her two toddlers and a dog, and her partner had been held back for questioning, just randomly chosen. She was near-hysterical wondering how she was going to get on the plane, let alone manage her three charges and her luggage on the other side.

At this point, I think we are at the mercy of the airlines. If I had been in your shoes, I would not have let the kids board until I knew I was boarding as well. And I would have let the airline know that if we missed the cruise because of their ineptitude, they would have to figure out how to compensate me.

FEEDBACK Regarding the frustrated family (March 21):

Reader #1 – “I respectfully disagree that the parent had a right to feel entitled.  These days, most passengers pay an extra fee to secure their airplane seat of choice.  To ask a passenger to give up their seat after having the foresight to make a choice and likely pay for that choice is a sensitive thing for a flight attendant to do.”

Lisi – I don’t believe the parents felt entitled to anything. They booked seats together but were then separated. Mistakes happen, but separating a toddler is irresponsible of the airline.

Reader #2 – “I’m also glad the lovely lady offered her seat to the separated family. I’ve been told airlines do this when you book your flight so that you’ll upgrade to sit together. It is only making air travel even more uncomfortable. Aside from the stressed-out parents, the toddler no doubt would also be distressed.”