I think my girlfriend is trying to break up with me. We had holiday plans to travel with friends, to stay at a friend’s parents’ country house. We were going to drive, stay a few days, maybe even do some winter sports like downhill skiing, cross-country skiing and ice fishing.

There were five couples in on the plan. The guy who owns the cottage is one of my close friends from childhood, and his fiancée is the one who introduced me to my girlfriend. Another couple is another of our close guy friends from school days, and then her bestie and her boyfriend. The fifth couple came through my girlfriend but all us guys really like her boyfriend. So, we are ALL connected and friends.

Unfortunately, one couple had to bail because she got COVID-19 from her office Christmas party at the beginning of December. The Friday before Christmas, my girlfriend and I were planning on spending the weekend together, just the two of us alone, before the fun and excitement of family time and this trip with friends. She cancelled that morning, saying she wasn’t feeling well, with a migraine.

I was disappointed but didn’t think it was meaningful. I went to her family Christmas Eve, and she came to mine on Christmas Day, but on Boxing Day she called with some crazy excuse why she couldn’t go to the country house. It made no sense; she made no sense. I got angry and drove up anyway.

I spent a day drinking my woes away, but then realized I was bringing the group down, so I left.

Now what?

Drunk and Dumped

Now that the pressure of the holiday season is behind us, I strongly suggest that you and your girlfriend go for a walk. Even if it’s your breakup walk, it’s a nicer environment than a bar, or her basement.

Start by telling her how you feel about her. I am surmising that you are all in your 20s, so you’re not children. Relationships during this season of your life are meaningful and could be the precursor to something more long-lasting, even permanent. Do you think she’s “the one?” If you’re not feeling it, maybe it’s time to let her go. If you feel strongly about her, tell her how you feel.

Maybe she’s nervous, anxious, scared or confused. She may be grappling with the same issues I just put to you. The two of you need to lay your cards on the table.  There’s no point in dancing around the issue.

My brother relies on me to remind him of all the important dates for our family. We have three sisters, parents, cousins who we are close with, and two sets of aunts and uncles. We all celebrate each other, even if it’s just a phone call.

I’m a more organized person than my brother, but I just put everything in a calendar with reminders. My brother LIVES on his phone, so how hard can it be for him to also just input the dates?

And, if he chooses not to remember, or be reminded, why does it fall on me? The thing that annoys me the most, is that no one cares when he forgets, but they get very angry if I mess up.

Unfair Expectations

Yes, that does sound unfair. Tell your brother that you will happily sit down with him NOW, at the beginning of the year and write down everyone’s birthdays and other important dates. Show your parents what you’ve done. Now tell him that what he does with the information is up to him, and NOT your responsibility.

Reader’s Commentary Regarding the mixed-up luggage (Oct. 28):

Reader - “You certainly had a very positive take on the mixed-up bag story, but I found the situation alarming.

“Several years ago, traveling alone overseas, I fell into conversation with a woman in the boarding lounge. As the time to board approached, I prepared to do my usual dash to the toilet. She offered to watch my bag; I politely declined the offer. When I returned, she was gone and nowhere to be seen.

“I never saw her again, but the incident haunted me, because she could have been looking for a likely mule. Sadly, airports are dangerous places and conversations can be deceptive.

“And if you picked up someone else’s bag at the carousel…. Well, that’s a problem. Very suspicious. Why was he shocked? Surely, he knew he didn’t have a bag?

“I urge vigilance and safety.”

Lisi – His friend had picked up my bag by accident. They were VERY similar.