We’re parents of two children under age 5; we’re wondering how to ask relatives not to buy our children Christmas gifts (toys, games) with many small pieces or components. Our children have already received gifts that, while well-intentioned, are a nightmare to keep organized once opened.
Is there a diplomatic way to ask that people, if they wish to buy for our children, get them "experience" gifts (movie coupons, zoo tickets, etc) rather than items with a zillion pieces or bulky items we can’t store in our home?
- Piece-keepers
There’s no truly “diplomatic” way to tell people what gifts to buy, other than to either trust they’ll understand (some may), or risk offending them. More important, your priority is to show gratitude for the love and caring people show by taking the time and interest to buy your children gifts, of any kind.
Buy small see-through storage boxes with snap lids and small bags that seal or zip shut (NOTE: the latter aren’t safe for babies), to store toy parts. Gifts that are WAY too bulky can be returned to the store, and the reason explained to the giver.
Part of the fun and learning of some toys is not only in the pieces but also in the “tidy-up” time. Consider the popularity of the enduring classic, Mr. Potato Head: Where would he be without his detachable moustache and glasses?
My husband of 29 years goes to the gym everyday, he met a nice girl there, they talked daily. He introduced me to her at the gym where I’m also a member, and asked if it was okay that he asks her to go for coffee.
I said I wasn’t happy about it. He then asked if it was okay that they go ahead, as she’d accepted. I still wasn't happy with it. After their coffee together, he said he enjoyed talking with her and wanted to do it again. But I said I’m uncomfortable.
He doesn't understand why but is accepting my feelings. Ellie, is it okay for him to have coffee with this girl ... can something else come out of this?
- Still Uncomfortable
Put your shoes on his feet, metaphorically, and ask if he’d be okay with you having coffee regularly with a young guy.
Also, ask yourself this: If you wanted to chat and share personal stories with a young guy every day, could something else happen? You bet it could! That something could range from you slowly distancing yourself from sharing time with your Hubby, to getting far more involved with the guy.
The good news is that your husband accepts your feelings. Now, help him to understand them. Then, create times together that are just for being relaxed in each other’s company, as you would be over a nice cup of coffee. That way, the gym will be for staying fit, and the coffee will be for you two.
A number of my friends are getting injections of skin fillers and Botox to mask the appearance of wrinkles. Some are going too far and look like they no longer have any expression in their faces. But they’ve spent a lot of money and want compliments. How do I answer, “How do I look?”
- Feeling Awkward
The word “fresh” implies the rewards they’re looking for – youthful, new - and is more honest than a hastily blurted “great.” Some of the cosmetic boosters look better (more natural, less puffy) after several weeks, so you can comment on improved benefits.
Early in our two-year relationship, my boyfriend pushed for us to move in together, then he backed out. Now he’s unsure of a future with me. He’s taking a vacation without me.
We used to have a very healthy sex life, now he has no drive, or is distracted and rushed, or watching TV during sex! I used to be very confident, but my self-esteem’s taking a hit. Yet I love him so much I want to fix our relationship. What should my next step be?
- Heart-Broken
Tip of the day:
Always accept gifts graciously, and then manage what to do with them without offending the givers.