Sixty years ago, I asked a girl to a Neil Diamond concert. The day before the concert I phoned her and said I wasn’t going. Instead, I took another girl who ended up being my girlfriend for several years. That night, at the concert, I looked over a couple of rows and the girl I had stood up was with her father.
I would now like to apologize to this woman. I was an immature 15-year-old at that time. For many years I thought about it but did not know how to contact her. I do now.
Should I apologize after 60 years?
Decades of Remorse
Yes! You have nothing to lose. However, I strongly suggest you throw away any expectation that may be niggling in the back of your mind. Think of the possibilities: she may not remember that night at all; she may have had such a great time with her dad that in the end, she was grateful you didn’t take her; she may also be harbouring six decades of anger, resentment, and hurt. Who knows?
All I’m saying is that you feel bad and want to apologize, which will make YOU feel better. Be prepared that you might open an old wound for someone else, reigniting old pain that she’s since buried. Or not.
Perhaps before you apologize, you could do a soft-touch outreach. You say you have a way to contact her, so perhaps do so, without dropping your bomb. If she reacts kindly, go for it and apologize wholeheartedly. If she reacts differently, you’ll have to decide if you think your apology will be soothing or just fuel whatever fire is still burning.
Unfortunately, as much as we would like, we don’t always get closure in this life.
I have a foot fetish, and I worship politicians, news reporters, Hollywood celebrities and athletes - mostly pro wrestlers and gymnasts.
If I was going to fall in love with one of these, which is the best option for me?
Too Many Options
Having a foot fetish isn’t a problem, unless you take it to an extreme that makes other people uncomfortable. You’re not alone in this fetish; many, many people love feet. I’m not one of them, but I can sympathize.
It’s important that when entering a romantic and sexual relationship with someone that you mention your fetish up front. That way, when you start to hyper focus on their feet, they’ll be prepared and won’t find it uncomfortable.
That you worship politicians, news reporters, athletes and Hollywood celebrities really speaks to the fact that you are strongly affected by pop culture. You wouldn’t know these people if they weren’t in the news, on social media, in your face. You’re obsession with them might be your way of enjoying their limelight and their popularity vicariously.
Since I don’t know you personally, and you haven’t mentioned a specific famous person, there’s no way for me to know which profession would match best with your personality and/or your lifestyle. I suggest you meet people naturally and organically, get to know them, and then fall in love, or don’t. But fall in love with someone for who they are and NOT what they do for a living. The former will prove more successful; the latter is a recipe for disaster.
FEEDBACK Regarding pokey clumsy (July 20):
Reader – “He’s not making light of a situation at a social gathering; he’s cruelly bringing up this past incident to make fun of the poor girl. That is so insensitive. If this is his normal kind of behaviour, he will be damaging to this lady in the long run. She needs to address this situation.”
FEEDBACK Regarding the nose job (July 24):
Reader – “I don’t think the girl who’s getting the nose job this summer is wrong to not announce her decision to the world. Her feelings about her appearance are her business. If, and I say ‘if’ anyone notices, then she can acknowledge the operation. But, coming from a family where my own husband removed his moustache of many years to silence, you’d be surprised how ‘perfectly obvious’ feature removals make people wonder what’s different about you. I wouldn’t say anything.”