My ex-wife and I recently divorced. Our marriage had simply run its course. I wasn’t in love with her anymore and I didn’t really like her all that much either.

We had a whirlwind love affair and married after only two years from when we first met. We got pregnant quickly but lost the baby. We lost another before having our son. We lost two more before we finally had our second son, who was born with disabilities.

My ex put her everything into our children and she has done a wonderful job. But I guess our marriage suffered as a result. We separated 18 months ago; and we’ve been divorced three months.

Last week my wife hosted a Hot Divorcee party that was apparently a rager. All our mutual friends were in attendance, including a few of my single friends. According to what I’m hearing, my ex looks fabulous and has never been happier! She was smiling and laughing all night – and, according to one of my married friends, was being hit on by multiple guys throughout the night.

Did I make the biggest mistake of my life?

Wrong Turn

From your description, your wife has been through a lot, physically and emotionally. Pregnant six times and losing four babies takes a HUGE toll on your body and your emotional well-being. The hormone roller coaster your wife has been on over the course of that time alone would make anyone uneven.

Were you there for her during her downs as well as her ups? Were you an equal parenting partner? Did you help her navigate whatever systems were needed for your son with disabilities? Or did you allow her to suffer on her own, and then felt she was no longer a worthy wife?

Marriages usually start out happy, between two people who are in love and enjoy being together. But then life happens – work related issues, family issues, financial stress, conception and pregnancy troubles, children – and people change. They fall into patterns and they lose a bit of themselves.

Your wife sounds as though she’s shed some of her unhappiness and is finding herself again. Did you make a mistake by ending your marriage? Maybe. But I’d suggest giving it some more time before attempting a reconciliation.

My cousin is insufferable and talks about her life non-stop. Her husband made a lot of money and now they live quite the high lifestyle, vacationing often, staying at posh hotels and resorts, going out for expensive meals, paying big money for high-value tickets to concerts and sports events. I’m happy for her as she didn’t have a lot growing up, and neither did her husband when they first married.

But what I don’t like is the bragging, with a hint of humility. And I’m also annoyed that she NEVER invites me to anything she brags about. How long do I have to listen to this?

Catty Cousin

You don’t! But before you ghost her, tell her how you feel. Tell her that you’re happy for her new-found wealth. But to call you and brag, then feign humility, and never include you is cruel. I can’t imagine ever doing that to anyone!

Then tell her that this isn’t the type of friendship you’d like to continue, even if she is your cousin. Wish her well and get back to your own life.

FEEDBACK Regarding the procrastinator (May 16):
Reader – “I am one as well. I recently was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. Procrastination is one of the hallmarks. Speaking to a doctor might help to see if there are other underlying issues.”

FEEDBACK Regarding woman with urine body odour (May 16):

Reader – “The elderly lady who has a strong urine body odour needs to see a doctor right away. There are many serious, even life-threatening physical conditions that cause this. It's not just bladder control. Perhaps the letter writer could 'innocently' ask about her health, without mentioning the odour of course, to see if she is seeing a doctor regularly. Elderly people love to talk about their health.”

FEEDBACK Regarding confused (May 18):

Reader – “I could identify with the writer who filed for separation procedure after being in an unhappy marriage and the husband reacted angrily towards her.

“When I finally filed for divorce after a 25-year marriage to a husband who was physically and verbally abusive, and had many affairs with other women, my husband was furious.
Yes, the divorce cost me financially but being able to control my own life free of this horrible marriage was worth every cent spent on lawyers.”