My wife’s brother is the most boring human on the planet. He has nothing to say, ever. I have literally tried every angle and every topic, from sports to entertainment, to his job, his love life, his dog, etc. I am constantly met with one-word answers, a blank look and never a response that could possibly lead to anything resembling a conversation.

Obviously, my wife loves him, but somehow, she tells me that he’s the funniest, kindest person ever. How can he be so funny when he doesn’t say anything? I feel like I’m on the outside of some huge inside joke, and I don’t like it. I’m worried this is going to negatively affect my marriage.

What do I do?

Boring Brother-in-law

I suggest you do these three things: first, talk to your wife. Ask her if there’s a reason that she knows of why her brother may not like you or wish to engage in conversation. Then tell her how you’re feeling with the emphasis on how much you’d really like to be friends with him. Second, talk to him, brother-in-law to brother-in-law. Tell him that your relationship with him is very important to you because of your relationship with his sister, and how you wouldn’t want anything to jeopardize that. Once you’ve laid all your cards on the table, take a step back. Stop trying so hard. Let some time pass and see if there’s any change.

My mom is in her mid-80s and extremely healthy, both in mind and body. She and my late father owned a seasonal property in Arizona, and they used to drive down before the snow fell to escape the cold. My father passed away almost a decade ago and my mother continues the tradition. I don’t think she’s seen snow in 30 years!

Sometimes, either my sister or I will drive down with her, to break up the driving and spend some quality time together. We also like to help her open the house down there and close it at the end of season. But sometimes, due to babies or work constraints, we’ve been unable to go, and mom has driven down on her own. She’ll make a road trip out of it, and stop along the way to see friends, family and interesting sites.

She’s had a few issues this past season and I’m quite concerned about her driving home. Unfortunately, my sister can’t help, and neither can I. Our spouses are unavailable and our children are too young. I’m trying to convince my mom to fly home, leave her car there until one of us can get it, or use a service. She’s refusing, saying she’s fine.

I’m worried, but how can I stop her?

Independent Senior

You can’t physically stop your mother from doing anything she wants to do. I’m sure you’ve exhausted all possibilities, but is there another family member you could reach out to? A niece or nephew, a grandchild, a friend – anyone who has a few days to spare? What about enlisting the help of the medical professionals she last saw for whatever ailments were bothering her? For example, if she’s suffering from arthritis, her doctor could agree that driving for long periods isn’t the best choice. If she’s suffering from almost anything, driving for long periods, alone, isn’t the best choice. But she may need to hear it from a professional and not from her “overbearing, worrying” children.

Unfortunately, if she’s adamant and stubborn, then there’s nothing you can do but hold your breath and pray. Make sure her location services are turned on on her phone, and go over her route with her, suggesting more stops and a longer trip, for the purpose of resting.

FEEDBACK Regarding disappointed parents (Feb. 27):

Reader – “Although I agree with your advice to these parents, there is also another angle on the texted reply. Many Gen X and Gen Z people tend to text more than they phone, write or email. Unfortunately, the young often forget that Baby Boomers are not always appreciative of this mode of communication. That adult child may not mean any disrespect. They may have just become a little lax and too informal in expressing thanks.

“We are in changing times. Etiquette is being rewritten, not always for the best in the eyes of those of us accustomed to the old ways. Maybe these parents need to look at the text of the message. Maybe a casual mention to that ‘child’ that, although they appreciated their thank you in spirit, they enjoy more traditional methods of thanks.”

Lisi – I agree. They just need to talk.