While waiting for a bus recently, a woman walked by holding a tiny interesting-looking hairless kitten. As an animal lover, I stopped to say hello. I gave it a quick pet, asked about the breed and thanked her. She continued talking. I smiled and was polite but started to look at my phone. She continued talking. I smiled again and then pretended to take a call and excused myself. But when I turned around, there she was, waiting to speak with me!
I’ve never seen this woman before, and I had only expressed mild interest in her kitten. I didn’t want to be rude, but I also didn’t want to spend the rest of my day with her. The bus finally came, I got on, she followed me, and at the last moment, I hopped off.
I feel badly about it, but what else could I have done? She certainly wasn’t getting the hint. But now I’m nervous to go back to the bus!
New Bestie
It sounds as though the woman with the kitten had some social awkwardness. It was a one-off. Don’t let this one encounter affect your life. The world is full of all types of people. Be kind. Be patient. Be generous of spirit.
I can’t promise you that you’ll never bump into her, or someone like her, again. But you have every right to gently say, “Excuse me, I need to make a call.” Or any other excuse to extricate yourself from a lengthy conversation with a stranger.
Last week I took my family on vacation. We agreed to take the children out of school to afford a vacation somewhere warm, right before peak season. Not surprisingly, we weren’t the only ones with our great idea. There were a few other families at our hotel, sharing the beach and the pool. Fortunately, it was a large pool and an extensive beach because unfortunately, one family was just a nightmare!
The kids were loud, whining incessantly, crying and generally creating an uncomfortable situation for anyone else trying to enjoy themselves. Knowing this wasn’t the most popular week for families, I was very conscious of my own children and their effect on the rest of the guests who were hoping to enjoy a lovely vacation. We kept to ourselves at the end of the beach for the most part and I was proud of my children’s behaviour.
On our last day, we decided to spend a few hours by the pool so as not to get all sandy. While there, a woman marched up to my daughter and started wagging her finger in her face, telling her she was very naughty and ought to be ashamed. My daughter started to cry, and I went to see what was happening. She had mistaken my daughter for the other family’s daughter. But when I tried to explain that, she became enraged! Thankfully, our flight was imminent, so we left. But when we got home, I received an email from the hotel manager asking for an apology to this other guest.
How can I prove that it wasn’t us?
Polite Family
Take a breath. It’s a mistake and you know it. Write the hotel manager an email and explain exactly what you’ve shared with me, with specific details. Be calm and kind. Everyone makes mistakes.
However, you could counter that no adult should ever wag their finger in a child’s face, especially a child they don’t know. And if anyone deserves to apologize, it’s the other woman. See how he replies. At best, I would simply let it dissipate. There are many hotels, many beaches and many more happy vacations for you to have with your family. Don’t let anyone else ruin your memories.
FEEDBACK Regarding something’s fishy (Jan. 19):
Reader – “The very point of having a service dog is to allow people to carry on in their lives as ‘normally’ as is possible. This person enjoys attending concerts. This may have very well been an event she enjoyed attending before she needed her service dog. Why should she stop going simply because she has some diagnosed disability?
“In my experience, service animals are some of the most cared for animals. Plus, my understanding is that a person’s life and requirements are fully reviewed and analyzed before they are issued a certified service dog.”