It seems everyone I know is going through some sort of crisis or another. I’m 45 and all my friends are similar in age, and I’m shocked at how sad, depressed, stressed and weary everyone is.

Two of my friends found out that their spouses are cheating on them. One friend is going through a divorce because his wife just told him she prefers women. Three of my friends are dealing with aging parents. Another three are dealing with health issues of their own, or their partners. And four of my friends are dealing with issues with their children, everything from social, educational, health and behaviour.

I want to be supportive to everyone, but I don’t have the energy for everyone. Also, I just found out that my own sibling is going through a health crisis, so I need to focus on her. But this can’t be the rest of our lives, can it? This is far too depressing!

Shared negatives

As we age, so too does everyone around us. And as we age, our health, in general can deteriorate more than when we were young(er). So, if your friends and relatives are getting sick, or having health issues, it’s normal, if they’re older than you. And, of course, that includes aging parents.

I’m not saying everyone gets sick after 45, but you hear about people in the second half of their century getting sick more than those in the first half.

Cheating spouses? Well, again, on average, most spouses don’t cheat in the first few years of marriage. There’s a high rate of cheating around the six-to-10-year anniversary (often known as the “seven-year itch”), and then again after 18 years of marriage.

Lastly, I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems.” Diaper rash, sleepless nights, teething – those are parenting issues that don’t require external support, other than commiseration and the right medication. But big kids and their big problems can throw parents six ways of sideways.

Is this the rest of your life? I hope not! But none of us are immortal, or immune to life’s surprises. As the saying goes, “money doesn’t buy happiness,” or health - and we see that with millionaires (apparently Elon Musk suffers depression), celebrities (the family rift happening now with the Beckhams; the recent untimely death of James Van Der Beek) and regular people who suffer.

Support your sister and the rest of your family. Reach out to one friend a day, if you have the energy. Life happens in waves, phases and cycles. This too shall pass. There will be good days ahead.

I just found out that my niece has an OnlyFans account. I asked my son what it’s all about and he explained that people ask girls for things, such as a pair of underwear that they’ve worn all day, and these “clients” pay a high price for these items. I’m not shocked because my niece lacks self-confidence but relies on her looks to get ahead. She is very pretty and has a gorgeous figure.

I know my brother would lose his mind if he knew what his daughter was up to, especially since she’s not yet 18. Should I tell him?

Agonizing Aunt

You need government ID to own an OnlyFans account, so I’m not sure how your niece has pulled that off. Anyway, she is obviously seeking validation and an income and believes she can achieve both.

Only a small percentage of women become famous and wealthy on OnlyFans. Talk to your niece before talking to your brother. Give her a chance to remove herself from the site. Help her find a better path to success. Be supportive before turning her in to her parents.

FEEDBACK Regarding the heartbroken son (Jan. 10):

Reader – “Please let this mother know her son was unfortunately the victim of a narcissistic ex. The treatment he experienced was clearly not just a breakup; it was abuse. The son was manipulated, mistreated, disrespected and potentially put in harm's way by the ex's cheating during the relationship, before being outed, gaslit and dumped. These are all textbook behaviours of a narcissist, and cause far more damage than a broken heart. That the ex is now basking in confidence and adoration further confirms my opinion.

“Both the mother and son should read all they can about narcissistic personalities and learn that nothing the son did led to this outcome. It's more than likely that he was a happy confident young man prior to meeting his ex - just the type narcissists are attracted to. Further, he should learn how to avoid this type of trait in a future partner.”