My sister’s boyfriend is beyond boring. He talks about himself constantly, but he doesn’t say anything interesting. He talks about his new boring internship, and his boring classes. And it’s not that I think his internship or classes are boring, HE does! So, he’s not even trying to sell himself with any interest.

I can’t tell if he’s complaining or bragging, but I start to tune him out because he just drones on and on about how boring everything in his life is at the moment. I also have no sympathy for him because it’s impossible to feel bad for him. He makes you NOT want to help him.

I’ve spoken to my sister about it, and she just brushes it off, saying he just likes to complain. But how on earth does she put up with it? It’s tedious!

Boredom King

He does sound tedious and, well, boring. But why do you have to listen to him? He’s your sister’s boyfriend, not yours. Do you need to spend a lot of time with him? Your sister knows how you feel, so make plans with her separately. Go out for lunch, or whatever you two like to do together. If there’s a family dinner or event where both you and her boyfriend are in attendance, spend your time talking to the other people in the room and avoid any long periods of time alone with him.

You owe it to both he and your sister to be kind and polite, but you don’t have to be his friend.

When I was a teenager, I befriended a girl who had come here with her family from Europe. She was different, not only in her accent, but the way she dressed and carried herself. I was attracted to what I thought was an exciting personality.

We spent our weekends hanging out and through her friendship, I learned how to lie to my parents and smoke cigarettes. At first, I thought I was so cool. And I thought everyone else was doing it, just with other friends.

Then one day, we went to the mall. We were shopping for clothes in one of those large department stores and having fun in the dressing room. We tried on multiple ridiculous outfits and some cool stuff. We left after deciding we couldn’t afford to buy anything. But when we got back to my house and she took off her coat, I realized she was wearing several items under her own clothes!

I couldn’t figure out how she had managed to get those alarm tags off, but she did. She was laughing and so proud of her accomplishment. I didn’t know how to react. Fortunately, I was going out of town for an extended period with my mom, and while away I cried and told her everything. She and I came up with a plan for me to break away from the friendship, slowly and safely.

It’s two decades later and I just bumped into that woman. I was so surprised to see her, but it was very awkward. Especially after she said, “So nice to finally see you after the big dump.” I just feel sick about the whole thing!

Unfavourable friendship

You were smart to confide in your mom all those years ago, and she was brilliant in helping you untangle yourself from a friendship that wasn’t healthy. That girl needed to go down her own path, and she wasn’t going to listen to you.

I get how it still sticks in your craw – most people don’t like to hurt their friends – but you did the right thing at the time. Give yourself a break; not every friendship is lifelong.

FEEDBACK Regarding the thing no one will talk about (Sept. 1; Nov. 21):

Reader – “I struggle with eco-anxiety and a lot of grief about the state of our climate, and the refusal of the populace at large to even discuss the problem, never mind taking positive actions.

“Many of us who've been working hard for the environment have been made to feel isolated, dismissed and betrayed (especially young people). I fully recognize that many people don't want to feel the emotions associated with the crisis and perhaps don't want to feel and be with the emotions and cognitive dissonance that the truth brings up in us, but we really need to be able to talk about this subject with civility and open-mindedness.

“I read your column faithfully and I'm always amused by how open people are about formally taboo topics (sexual proclivities, affairs, poor ethical choices) but trying to save the planet is somehow out of bounds."