My neighbour down the road was passing by when I was in desperate need of a helping hand. He helped, and in my gratitude, I invited him to stay for a late lunch. While in the kitchen, he came up behind me and started kissing me. One thing led to another, and we ended up in bed together.
The sex was incredible! He’s a very good-looking guy, strong, kind and incredibly adept at making others feel good around him. We skipped lunch and he left. Two days later, he knocked on my door with a picnic basket full of food and asked if he could cook me dinner. We laughed, ate and then had unbelievable sex again.
He left after dark and I had the best night’s sleep. A few days later, on a Sunday morning, he knocked on my door with coffee and fresh croissants. Well, you can guess how we spent the day.
Is this neighbour relationship sustainable?
Knockin’ Neighbours
As incredible as the sex is, it’s probably time you two started talking and getting to know each other. Do you even know his name?
You ask if the relationship is sustainable, but you don’t have a relationship, as yet. You have a booty call based around food. If you’re OK keeping this “neighbourliness,” then go right ahead. If you’re hoping for more of a relationship, dare I even say friendship, you have to talk and get to know each other. It’s completely irrelevant that he’s your neighbour, at this point. It’s just easy access.
One of my friends just told me that her boyfriend has asked her to wax EVERYTHING off. We are both hypersensitive to smells and have, since we were young teenagers, always waxed, shaved, depilated in whichever way possible. We both once tried the full Brazilian but hated the way it looked. And don’t even get me started on the itch when it starts to grow back.
But we agreed that we wouldn’t do that again because it made us feel like prepubescent children. So, when she told me that he asked her to do it, I was certain she had said no. But she’s contemplating doing it for him.
How do I remind her of how it made us feel and how irritated she’ll be when it starts to grow back in?
Landing Strip at least
You can remind her all you want, but I can pretty much guarantee she remembers everything. Which is why I think she came to you to talk about it. She doesn’t need you to judge her or discuss the past. She needs you to ask her the right questions.
Why is she contemplating doing something she doesn’t like for a guy? Why does he say he wants her to do it? Perhaps he just likes the smooth feel (legit), but does he understand that it’s not sustainable for a lifetime? Is this a deal-breaker for him? And is he worth the pain of the rip AND the itch of the regrowth?
Help your friend decide if she really wants to do this FOR him, because she’s clearly not doing it for herself. Don’t judge her; support her.
FEEDBACK Regarding the tea bag (Aug. 30):
Reader – “I too needed to look up this term. This is SEXUAL ASSAULT. I would not only call the camp but also the local police.
“This parent needs to have a serious talk with both sons. The victim’s parents could very well lay charges against the camp, and everyone involved.”
Reader #2 – “I think both you and the mom are overreacting. There’s definitely a disconnect between the male and female sense of humour on this. Often, the things that boys/men find funny, girls/women don’t.
“And yes, tea bagging is a juvenile activity at best, but you need to let boys be boys. It’s all part of growing up and it sounds like he thought it was pretty funny.
“Lashing out at the camp will serve no purpose other than to bring unwanted attention to the boy and possible alienation from his peers.
“Let sleeping dogs lie. No harm, no foul.”
Lisi – The extreme thoughts of these two readers are what I find so interesting. And, of course, without more details, none of us can really weigh in. It wasn’t clear if the writer’s kids were victim, perpetrator, bystanders, or heard about it from another party.
We need to protect our children, teach them right from wrong, and still let them have fun and be silly. It’s a tough balance.