The holiday parties have started and I’m already in trouble. I managed to stay away from the food and drink at party #1 and just hung out with my colleague friends. Party #2 was awkward as my ex was there with his new girlfriend. I ended up having a drink or two, and I’m such a lightweight that I was well tipsy already. And party #3 was even more awkward because my boss was drunk and hitting on me, so I got drunk and pretended to hit on a friend, who was also drunk, and somehow, we woke up together. Disaster!

Now I feel so embarrassed about everything! I can barely look at my ex, my boss and my friend! Do I need to quit and find a new job?

Holiday Hell

NO! Do NOT quit your job. These types of issues can follow you wherever you work. Stay at this job and let’s figure out how to make it enjoyable.

From now on, you need to behave as though every party is party #1. Refrain from drink and hang out with friends you trust.

As for your ex (and his new girlfriend), they have every right to be at the party as you do. Just smile and hold your head high. I don’t know why he’s your ex, but he is and you don’t want him. Be happy for them.

And with regards to your boss, the ball is in your court. His behaviour was inappropriate and unacceptable. You could report him to HR for sexual harassment; you would be in your right to do so. If you don’t want to do that, you can just talk to him about it. But I would strongly suggest you never find yourself alone with this person.

Lastly, your friend who now comes with benefits. Talk to him! He’s probably feeling just as awkward as you. Laugh about it, agree that it will never happen again, and just be friends.

While working at my part-time job in a café, I witnessed a couple arguing. I had no idea what they were fighting about because they were whispering, but I could tell they weren’t getting along. When I first walked over to take their order, she was smiling and animated and nothing seemed amiss. But as soon as I arrived with their coffees, I could tell something was wrong.

Minding my own business, I walked away to tend to other customers. But I kept looking over. When I brought them their food, the woman squeezed my leg discreetly. I was taken aback but walked away quickly. After a few minutes, I told my manager what happened. She didn’t hesitate and went in back to call the police.

Unfortunately, the couple were able to leave before the police arrived. Now I can’t stop thinking about this woman. I told the police everything and described them both. But I’m scared for her and that he’ll come back.

Should I have done something else?

Bad Situation

That’s a terribly scary thing to happen to anyone. But your instincts were good, and your manager reacted accordingly. You should be proud of yourselves.

I just learned that there are certain “drinks” a person can ask for at a bar, which tip off the bartender. If a person asks for an “Angel Shot,” that’s code for “I feel unsafe.” Also, I heard that at coffee shops, sometimes baristas will write notes to patrons who look like they might need help with a code, such as removing the lid of their cup, or asking for extra sugar.

Better always to be safe and let people know that they are cared about, than the alternative.

FEEDBACK Regarding the couple who lost the condom (Aug. 30):

Reader – “How uneducated can anyone be thinking one woman can get another woman pregnant? The finger nor the tongue can release semen so it’s impossible.”

Lisi – I think you misinterpreted the letter.

FEEDBACK Regarding the weather (Sept. 1):

Reader – “Your response to a question asking, ‘what’s up with this crazy weather?’ was shocking and disappointing. What’s up with this crazy weather has a clear answer: climate change. Scientists have been saying this for decades; do you not believe them? How do you ‘not have an answer’ when someone asks why the weather is weird?”

Lisi – There is no need to tell people that climate change is the cause of crazy weather. They know that. Everyone knows that. My telling them isn’t going to appease them. People write me for help, on many issues, how to navigate their lives. Not to be reminded of the obvious and patronized.