I have been single for six years now. I recently got in touch with my ex from 10 years ago, after noticing an unread email from him while cleaning out my inbox. We broke up in 2014; he was separated and was starting his divorce papers. The relationship didn't work out because he was busy all the time, and I broke up with him.

The email from 2016 said he had made a terrible mistake and would do anything to find me and have a second chance. I read that romantic email and I was in shock! Totally unexpected!

Well, I decided to reply, wishing him all the best and hope he learned a lesson; when things are precious and you are loved, you must fight for it and don't just give up easily. My reply never had any intent to get back with him, as I assumed he was happy with someone else. My intent was just to say thank you and keep the good memories.

He replied, said he was sorry, and we chose to meet up in person. We talked for hours about these past 12 years. He is still single, separated, but not divorced!  Once I heard that, I said I could only offer him friendship, nothing more. He said he would like to have something more, but I said not until he’s divorced.

We kept talking and started talking about dating. I said I would want to get married again one day, but he told me he doesn’t believe in marriage. I suggested we stop before we start because I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time considering we don’t have the same goals.

Am I wrong to wait to start something with him until he has his divorce over? Also am I wrong to wish to get married with my partner who I love in the future? I am 55; he is 61. I want a serious and committed relationship. He wants the same but without any marriage in the future.

Marriage is commitment

You’re asking a man in the depths of his divorce proceedings to MAYBE get married again. I’m not surprised he said no. Your timing is off.

From your description, I feel you’re rushing into something. Yes, you may know this man well after dating him for a period, but that was a decade ago. You’ve both had full lives since then, grown and changed. Spend some time getting to know each other again, as friends. IF you like each other enough, start dating. Then see how it goes.

If you both agree, down the road, that you would like to commit to each other, then you can figure out if marriage is right for both of you. His disdain may have waned by then; you may not need it so much. Take it slow…….

While out for lunch with friends one day, I saw a guy at another table with his mom. I couldn’t stop staring because he was so cute! I can’t stop thinking about him. But I don’t know his name, or what school he goes to.

A week later, I saw his mom coming out of a yoga class. And I saw her the next two days in a row. Would it be weird to approach her to get her son’s Snapchat?

Crushing

Different people will react differently to your approach. Some moms will think it’s cute; others will think it’s creepy. I’m a go for it kind of person, so I say, go for it. Worst thing that could happen is she thinks you’re creepy and says no.

Now it’s just back to crushing on someone you may or may not ever see again.

FEEDBACK Regarding clownish makeup on octogenarian (July 10):

Reader – “When my mom wore very bright makeup, it was because she had macular degeneration and was going blind. I helped her choose more appropriate makeup and threw the bright stuff out. She had no idea how she’d looked. Feedback is important. She really appreciated looking better again.”

FEEDBACK Regarding the pierced tongue turnoff (July 12):

Reader – “I have synesthesia. I perceive things differently. When I first see a tattoo, it looks like a bruise but then it starts to look and flow like diarrhea.  You can imagine how I gag inside when somebody with hand tats serves me food.

“I accept people for who they are. Does that obligate me to like everything about them and overlook the things that make me uncomfortable?

“He can share how he feels about the piercing and take the next step once she decides to keep or remove it.”