My friend is so sensitive, it’s hard to maintain a friendship with her. And she’s getting more sensitive as we get older. When we were teenagers, we thought it was just part of adolescence, teenage angst, hormones. But now that we’re in our 20s, we realize it’s just who she is. I say we because we’re a group of friends who have been friends forever and we all feel the same way.

When we were younger, I used to cry about it to my mom. She’s the one who helped me see that it was just her own insecurities and growing pains. She, my friend, used to get mad at me and our other friends for the littlest things – sometimes things happening in her own head. No amount of explanation would help.

But now, as we get older and become women, it’s so annoying that this friend gets mad over the littlest things and misinterprets so many statements, or issues that occur. I try hard to calm her down, show her the truth, the “other” side, but after a while, I don’t even want to bother.

What do I do about this friend?

Miss Interpreted

This friendship sounds exhausting, and though this woman has been your friend for a long time, it may not be worth your CONSTANT effort. In fact, maybe you just need to take a break from this person. Just for a period that feels right. If she asks why, be honest. But be kind. Explain that it’s tiresome for you to always have to fight to be understood. That she seems to always choose to believe the worst rather than giving anyone the benefit of the doubt.

Tell her you value your friendship, as it sounds as though you’ve been friends for many years, but you need a break from the constant fight. Hopefully she can re-evaluate and attempt at looking at the bright side first before assuming the worst in every situation.

My daughter has bad seasonal allergies and when she was younger, we gave her medicine to help her get through the worst days. But since she hit puberty the medicine either makes her skin break-out, or she feels bloated and has cramps. We’ve spoken to the doctor about it, but she thinks it’s just a reaction with her hormones. Her take is to use the medicine when necessary because it’s temporary and she believes the breakouts and cramping are coincidental.

My daughter is insecure and hates drawing attention to herself. She believes the medicine causes the breakouts and therefore won’t take it. But then she gets itchy eyes that she rubs until they’re red; an itchy nose that causes her to sneeze; and an itchy neck that turns red and blotchy when she scratches.

Which is worse?

Allergic Reactions

I’m not a family practitioner nor an allergist, so I can’t give you medical advice. I can tell you that there are several different allergy medicines on the market, and perhaps you could ask your daughter’s doctor if a different one may have less side effects while still being effective.

Also, from my limited experience with seasonal allergies, I have learned that some seasons/years are worse than others, depending on what exactly you’re allergic to; and that the severity of the symptoms can vary greatly, wherein someone can find relief with an over-the-counter medicine while someone else needs a prescription medicine.

Since your daughter probably shouldn’t stay home from school for the entire month of May, it would behoove you to find the right treatment for her allergies as soon as possible.

FEEDBACK Regarding the teenagers with attitude (Dec. 13; March 5):

Reader – “Bold teenagers are also know-it-alls because they are DESPERATE to show their parents that they can ‘make it on their own.’ Sometimes they want the CHALLENGE of figuring things out on their own. Yes, parents may know better, but some teenagers really want to work it out for themselves.

“This may also stem from insecurity, but encourage their independence, be there when they need you, otherwise they won’t listen to anything you say. Parenting is sooooo hard sometimes.

“Sometimes we have to let our kids fail, so they learn things for themselves. Sometimes they push back to evade the discussion. For my evasive child, I just act super psyched about what they want to discuss.

“I then pretend to forget about it. But still try to get them to open up by discussing the topic indirectly later.”