My older siblings fight all the time. They love each other, but they’re mean to each other. It’s almost like a game to them to see who can upset the other person more. And they take it seriously, like a constant game of attack. But mostly what they do is harmless, more on the level of high-end pranking.

We recently had a family BBQ as both my siblings are home from university. Unbeknownst to anyone, my brother mixed some raw lamb into my sister’s Beyond Meat burger. She’s been a vegetarian for years, mainly for health reasons. She took three bites, turned green and ran to the washroom. She was violently ill, and no one knew what was wrong.

We ended up taking her to the hospital because she couldn’t stop throwing up and was becoming dehydrated with an impending migraine. She gets terrible migraines, the kind that can land her in hospital, and we didn’t want her to suffer both. Once there, my brother confessed to what he did.

Turns out raw lamb and veggie burger don’t mix. But now my brother feels so badly, rightly so, and my sister isn’t forgiving him. The animosity in the house is thick and I can’t live like this! I’m trying to get through exams.

Help!

Sibling Stress

Your sister got sick from one of your brother’s so-called pranks. Yes, he apologized, but I think he went too far. And I think he understands because he’s showing remorse. Your sister was probably scared, probably still feels a bit sick, and is mad as hell at your brother. She’s not wrong.

Tell your parents that you need your siblings to back off into their own corners, but to also dial down the heat. Tell them you’re going to spend time at the library studying until your siblings have retracted their claws.

Historically, they just need time to cool off. However, I hope your brother has learned his lesson and the two of them can come to a truce before something worse happens.

My wife is a tiny woman. She has long curly hair, big brown eyes and dark skin. I’m the visual opposite: tall and skinny, fair and red-headed, with light green eyes.

We have two daughters, both of whom look exactly like me in colouring and body type. When they were babies, wrapped up in their blankets, together in the stroller, no one noticed. But now that they’re older and you can really see their features, people tend to assume that my wife, their mother, is the nanny. She’s pretty good at ignoring it, or making a joke out of it, but sometimes it just really boils her blood. And I don’t blame her! That tiny body of hers carried and produced these two babies and she’s dismissed as their mother by random people who know nothing.

How can I help her deal with this issue, which has the potential to follow her around for years?

Not the Nanny

I knew someone who went through the same issue. She happened to have a great sense of humour and was quick-witted, so she would respond with something appropriately snarky in the situation.

She once told me that she started speaking a foreign language and the other person smiled and just walked away. And one time, she looked the person directly in the eye and said, “I stole them” and walked away quickly.

Tell your wife not to let foolish people get under your skin. If she has a healthy comeback, fire away. Otherwise, just say something to the effect of, “It’s rude to make assumptions” and walk away.

FEEDBACK Regarding the single senior (March 6):

Reader #1 – “You should advise that woman to get a Lifeline bracelet or neckwear. Lifeline or similar outfits are a great help. I can vouch personally to that, having recently fallen and used my Lifeline bracelet. Helpers were at my home soon after; they called my son to let him know, and he came over as well.

“I have great neighbours, but they wouldn't necessarily know if something happened to me.”

Reader #2 – “I would also suggest she join a senior centre where she will meet others who may be in the same position as herself and with volunteer opportunities that may allow her to develop friendships. I would also suggest she acquire wearable technology (some of it I understand has no ongoing cost) that would allow her to call for help should she fall or would call for her.”