A few weeks ago, I found myself home alone in the middle of a workday. My office internet was down so we were working from home. But we couldn’t access our files, so we accidentally had a day off. I went for a run, then came home to shower. Knowing I was alone in the house, I had my music playing loudly, the door open and I decided to masturbate. Loudly.

Imagine my surprise when I got out of the shower, dried myself off and sauntered downstairs naked – only to find the cleaning lady standing in the kitchen. I quickly turned around and went back upstairs, calling out “Sorry! So sorry!” as I hurriedly got dressed.

I grabbed my jacket and left the house. I called my wife and told her what happened. She couldn’t stop laughing! But now I can’t go home until the cleaning lady leaves because I’m thoroughly embarrassed.

What do I do?

Too Loud

You laugh along with your wife, and you make sure that the next time the cleaning lady comes, you have some flowers and maybe even a small bonus - not as a bribe but as an “apology” for your inappropriate behaviour.

You didn’t do anything “wrong;” you thought you were alone in your own home. But you weren’t. Oops! If you don’t make it a big deal, it won’t become one.

My Canadian-born daughter lives in the United States with her American husband and my young grandchildren. They are Trump supporters, anti-vaxxers and Republican Christians. We are the complete opposite, and I am suffering from fear of the future of my country.

We made it through the pandemic, but I fear this is not going to go well. We are boycotting everything American, including travel.

How do I go forward and keep our relationship intact?

Canadian Grandma

You have every right to feel the way you do and believe everything you believe. But so do they. Even if it is completely opposite to your beliefs, and how you raised her. She is an adult and responsible for her own actions.

But for the sake of the grandchildren, you’ll have to agree to disagree. You can boycott EVERYTHING American – except those children. And if that means having to cross the border to see your grandbabies, then I suggest you suck it up. However, if you’re willing to do so, she needs to also be willing to bring her children to you. Depending on your finances, lifestyles, and responsibilities that could mean you visiting for a week, and then her coming to you a month or two later to visit. You’ll have to work it out yourselves.

Bottom line: don’t let politics affect your relationship with your grandchildren who are oblivious to it all and simply deserve the love of a grandma.

I’m in lust with a man a decade younger than me. And he’s reciprocating the fun. The sex is FANTASTIC! And all we do is laugh together. We enjoy each other’s company immensely. But his friends think it’s gross and he’s wasting his time. My friends just shake their heads in judgement.

I don’t care. I had a lousy husband who drank away our savings which put an end to our hopes of having a family. I just need some joy in my life.

Is that so bad?

Joy after Pain

Not bad at all. As long as your relationship is consensual, then enjoy each other. Own the age difference and accept that it may end abruptly due to life stages. Until then, just have fun.

FEEDBACK Regarding “smitten encore” (Feb. 4):

Reader – “I agree he should be open with his wife that their child's teacher was an old flame. But I don't agree that ‘a little bit of jealousy shows [a partner] loves you and wants to protect [the] marriage.’

“I've been married over 33 years to a kind and gentle man. I’ve also had a close platonic friendship with a straight male friend. My husband has never shown any jealousy or insecurity about that relationship. His faith in me, our marriage, and in himself further endears me to him.

“My husband has plenty of attractive female coworkers whom he considers friends. I like that he respects these women, enjoys their minds and personalities. If he finds any of them physically attractive, he has the good sense not to share that with me. I cherish our mutual trust.

“I was married before to a man jealous of everything: work colleagues, handsome movie stars, my university degree. He was insecure, controlling and I wish I'd recognized the red flags earlier. I left when he became verbally abusive.”