My good friend is turning 50 and hosting a big bash for herself. About a month ago, when the invitation went out, I was very excited to attend. I offered to help with anything she needed, and we spoke about it often in the following weeks.

About a week ago, I slipped on the ice and sprained my ankle badly. I have been on a zero-weight bearing regime since. The event is in a few days and I’m just not feeling up to it. I don’t know how I’ll get there as I can’t drive, the weather is terrible, I can’t dance, and if I get knocked, it’ll hurt like hell.

What do I do?

Busted up

You apologize profusely, send a gift, and stay home with a good show. If your friend is as good a friend as you think, she’ll be completely understanding. You didn’t throw yourself on the ground on purpose – you slipped. Accidents happen. That’s life.

Make a date with her for a month from now when you’ll be more mobile and take her out for lunch and a mani/pedi. She can tell you all about the party then.

My nephew and his wife are a young couple with toddlers. They got married after the kids were born and had a full wedding this year: stag and doe, bachelor and bachelorette parties, shower and wedding. Each time it was made politely clear that money was the preferred gift.

A few months later we asked what the kids would like for Christmas, and they responded that the kids didn't really need anything, and could we give them money for a family fun trip they are planning (for themselves) after Christmas.

I didn’t think to write in then, however recently, when one of the toddlers had a birthday, I called to ask what types of things the child was interested in these days. My own children will tell me their kids are into dinosaurs or Jelly Blox or LEGO Duplo. But my niece replied, ‘Oh, money is perfect.’

We are retired on a limited pension. I am not a bank! Nor do I think it’s appropriate to give cash to toddlers. Now I’m wondering if I need to start distancing myself from these family members. I fear the more comfortable they are around us, the more comfortable they'll be to ask for money for things they want to do.

Is there a polite way to close the Family Bank without causing a rift?

Generous Relatives

The best way to close the bank is to not open it anymore. Don’t bother asking them what they would like, just go out and purchase a gift. Ask your own children, who have similar aged children, to help you with appropriate gifts for your great-nieces and nephews. As for the adults, just get them something they can return, such as a bottle of wine, a good book, a scarf etc.

They’ll soon get the hint that you are no longer Daddy Warbucks.

My sister never responds to my texts. It drives me crazy! I know she knows how to work her phone because she is on it 24/7. She is ALWAYS looking at TikTok videos, Instagram, texting with her friends etc.

When I call her out on her lack of response, she becomes defensive and calls me nasty names. What do I do?

Sus Sissy

It’s easy – stop texting her. If you need to speak to her, call. If she doesn’t answer, leave her a message. If she doesn’t reply, her loss. It’s annoying, for sure, but you can’t control her behaviour. You can only control the way you react.

FEEDBACK Regarding the grandmother worried about her grandchildren STILL wearing masks (Dec. 21):

Reader – “Especially in my circle (seniors), I am increasingly seeing mask wearing again. Review the statistics.  COVID has never left, and hospitals are increasing seeing such cases again.

“My question to this person is how many COVID vaccine boosters have they received?  I have every booster available, plus the flu shot.

“Also, is this only their opinion, or are the children being harassed for wearing masks?”

FEEDBACK Regarding the grandparents who escape the winter (Dec. 26):

Reader – “My parents would go to Florida for six months during the years our kids were born.  I never expected them to stay home because I was having babies.

“And now we go away for two months, .and all the grandkids can’t wait till we get back. It’s good for them to miss grandma and grampa.  Enjoy your retirement for as long as you can.”