My daughter has been begging us for a puppy for years! For a multitude of reasons, it was never the right time. She recently graduated university and came home for a job she’s been after that she finally secured. We’re happy for her to live at home during this transition period, as are her siblings, who are both away at university, but come home often.

We decided to get her the puppy of her choice. She was ecstatic and gave it a ridiculous name. She was an excellent puppy mom, training the dog to go outside when nature calls, and not to destroy our house when the teething stage was happening. She was diligent about walking the pup morning, evening and would even come home from work at lunch.

But the puppy-moon has clearly worn off and our daughter has seemingly lost interest in the dog. She’ll leave for work without taking the puppy out and/or feeding it. She never comes home at lunch anymore; and she’ll often go straight out from work, getting home late, asking one of us to feed and walk the dog in the evening time.

Both my husband and I have fallen in love with this little pooch, so we don’t mind caring for it, but it’s not our dog and we didn’t want the responsibility. How do we tell our daughter to get back on the dog track when we have no “or else” to give?

Grand-puppy-parents

Dogs, especially puppies, are a huge responsibility and not one to be taken lightly. They need to be fed, watered and taken to the washroom. Depending on their size and breed, they need to be walked and exercised often.

Sit down with your husband and your daughter for a doggy discussion. I’m going to assume your daughter still loves and wants the dog. If she doesn’t, that’s a different conversation altogether. The dog was a gift that she REALLY wanted, and she must continue her responsibilities. The mornings are on her, and if she “can’t” because she’ll be late for work, she needs to be late and figure out how to change her routine. If she has plans right after work, she needs to change those plans building in time to come home and walk the dog.

Offer up whatever time and services you’d like, that’s totally up to you, but if she wants this dog, she needs to care for it.

My house is set up so my teenage children have a place to hang out with friends. It’s a small room in the basement with a big comfy couch and a large TV. There are no windows and the kids love it. I allow them to have snacks down there as long as no one spills anything major, and they clean up after themselves.

My daughter spent ages down there with her friends. The room used to smell like fruity lip gloss and popcorn. Now it’s my son’s turn. Now it smells like sweaty socks and Doritos.

My son has a few new friends that he’s met at his new school. These boys don’t play hockey with him. They dress differently than his friends, slightly more stylish; and they have product in their hair. But there’s also a new smell in the basement. When I realized what it was, I had a stern conversation with my son. He says it’s not weed, that they’re vaping, and it all smells like fruit and candy.

Can I ask them not to smoke in my windowless TV room?

New Game

Absolutely! Your house, your rules. And it’s highly disrespectful to smoke inside someone’s home. Tell your son to tell his friends that’s not acceptable. If he doesn’t, or feels he can’t, then they’re not welcome.

FEEDBACK Regarding being widowed (Nov. 28):

Reader – “I am a divorced senior and have recently entered the online dating scene. I have discovered that divorced women and widowed women are VERY different.

“People who have divorced have ‘closed the door.’  But widowed people continue to have their deceased spouses in their life.  Especially, when children and grandchildren are involved.

“In fact, if I DON’T see family photos, it makes me wonder what kind of person I’m dating.

“For this fellow, the new woman will NEVER replace his deceased wife.  But she can complement who he is.  Likewise, him to her.

“I specifically also make a point of inquiring about my date’s deceased husband.  Learning what kind of guy he was, helps me understand who she is.

“As long as people don’t try to replace other people, it can be a very happy second chance.”