I have a friend who lives in another country, who I don’t see or even speak to often. We keep in touch through social media, but even that is sporadic. Recently a mutual friend of ours passed away. They were closer than I was with the deceased, or so I thought. I called her when I heard but was unable to leave a message. I texted and reached out on one or two other social media platforms in case the number I had was incorrect.

I had expected – and hoped – to see her at the funeral. But she was a no-show. Others commented as well. I’ve tried to reach out since. No judgement, I just want to catch up, reminisce, share some love we both had for a mutual friend.

Why would she be ghosting me? Should I assume she doesn’t want to be friends anymore?

Hurt

I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. It’s very hard to lose someone you care about. But don’t assume anything about this faraway friend. You have no idea what is going on in her life right now, and her distance (probably) might have nothing to do with you.

Give it some time and reach out again. But don’t take her silence personally; you don’t know what’s causing it.

I’m a member of a group of women who meet every month or so. We discuss current events while crafting. The craft is usually something we can do without paying close attention, such as hand knitting, regular knitting and macrame. So, we can sit in a circle and chat.

We’ve been together for years, most of us around the same age, same religion, same cultural background. But we are greatly opposed when it comes to politics. Most of the time, this isn’t an issue – there’s much more to life – but with Trudeau and Trump, it’s ALL the women want to discuss.

Some have temporarily “quit” the group because those on the opposing side can be very loud, aggressive and forceful in their argument. How can we get back to our quaint creative group discussions when there is so much antagonism on both sides of the non-existent fence?

Knit-Knots

What a shame! It seems this group has run its course as it stands now. Perhaps now, while politics is a hot button topic, you should split up. Those who wish to discuss politics in a heated fashion; and those who don’t.

Change is OK, when not changing is uncomfortable. There’s nothing wrong with splitting up and starting two new groups. You’ll just have to find a second location.

My daughter has never been married. In all honesty, she has never had a long-lasting relationship. I have asked her countless times if she prefers women to men, which doesn’t make a difference to me though I think she thinks it does. She says no. In recent years, I have had my eyes open to all sorts of sexual identities and gender affiliations. It’s confusing to someone of my generation but I’m willing to learn.

I’ve inquired whether she’s non-binary, asexual, or even something off the beaten track such as a furry. She assures me she is heterosexual, female and would have loved to marry a man and have children.

So why is she 50 and still single?

Confused Mom

You are wonderful! If only more parents were as understanding and open as you. Unfortunately, some people just never find their soul mate – or even just someone they want to spend their life with. It’s not as easy as the movies pretend it is. My biggest wish for your daughter is that she finds happiness within herself and fulfilment in her life. Stay close to her.

FEEDBACK Regarding the mean girls (Nov. 22):

Reader – “I was nervous too about my class reunion, being one of the nerds. But what I found was that after 20 years, everyone had been stomped on by life and were pretty nice.  The big question was ‘How are you today?’”

FEEDBACK Regarding a new companion for a widower (Nov. 28):

Reader – “As someone who married a widower, I had no problem keeping photographs of his wife. However, it was not a happy marriage and there were no children, so he opted to burn every photograph. Any woman marrying/cohabitating/dating a widower, will understand the photos, except in their bedroom.”

FEEDBACK Regarding the stressed-out teenager (Nov.28):
Reader – “There are weight loss medications. The reader could talk to their doctor; also, the person going to university could look at their own goals for their life (not their parent’s expectations) and see if they can meet those goals living at home.”