We just had parent teacher interviews for my daughter’s school. My wife was out of town, so I went alone. It was going well until I walked into her French class. There stood my ex-girlfriend from high school. She’s married and uses her husband’s last name. I’m a dark-skinned Jamaican with a very common last name, but my daughter is very white, like her mother.
We were both totally surprised! We hugged (probably longer than we should have) and couldn’t catch our breath. It’s been years since we’ve seen each other. Our 15 minutes was up before we even mentioned my daughter!
I’m not looking for anything; nor is she. It was just a pleasant shock, and we had a nice relationship so many years ago. I’m not planning on contacting her. But what do I tell my wife when she asks about the teachers?
Smitten encore
You tell your wife exactly what happened. Because it’s the truth. Tell her how shocked and happy you were to see this woman. That it brought up nice memories of a past that you enjoyed. And then admit that you have no idea how your daughter is doing in French class.
If your wife gets annoyed, she’s just jealous – and that’s OK. A little bit of jealousy shows that she loves you and wants to protect her marriage. I’m not suggesting you CAUSE her jealousy, but in this case, here it is. Imagine if her response was, “that’s nice.” You’d think she doesn’t care.
Put yourself in her shoes…. wouldn’t you be a bit jealous if she came home with the same story?
Now move on with your lives. C’est tout!
Every afternoon I take my dog for a walk in my neighbourhood. I often see another guy walking his dog at the same time. My dog is big and sleek, with a sweet face and a shy demeanour – but he’s extremely reactive and very sensitive. He’s never bitten anyone, but he lunges and it’s frightening.
So, I walk him alone, not near any other dogs, or people, avoid dog parks, and never let him off leash in the city. Although he LOVES being off leash in the country and is extremely well-behaved.
This other guy and I nod to each other, but we never speak. Last week, as I was walking, I saw him, just as his dog broke free from him and ran at mine. I held my dog tight, but his dog was coming full steam ahead and the man wasn’t moving!
I felt my dog was a sitting duck, and was afraid I would get bitten in the tussle, so I let him go. He ran to the other dog, and they had a standoff, just long enough for us to both grab their leashes again.
But now that guy is telling everyone that my dog attacked his. Not true! How do I deal with this?
Dog Dads
Do you know where this guy lives? If so, hear me out, I would bring over a bottle of wine (not too expensive), without your dog in tow. Knock on the door and say something to the effect of, “I know we never say hello. Just wanted to let you know I appreciate your understanding by keeping your dog away from mine when we see each other out on the street. I do the same because my dog is reactive. I’m glad they didn’t get into it the other day.”
Hopefully he’ll admit that his dog instigated, but if not, as long as he’s kind and apologetic as well, you’re good.
What we all need to learn is that it doesn’t always matter who is right and who is wrong. The end goal is peace and happiness.
FEEDBACK Regarding the Still Mean Girls (Nov. 22):
Reader – “Let yourself shine and show your happiness. Chances are, despite what they may show or say, you are much happier and more successful in life than those mean girls. Success is the best revenge!!
“I speak out of experience. After attending a couple of reunions, I found out that in my chosen career, I had excelled, over many of the popular kids. Life and experience also humble one. You may find that those girls may be curious or envious of you and your happy life. It is those of us who are quiet, nerdy or different that often blossom after high school, when we come into ourselves. You probably have kept a few close friends along the way. Those matter more.”
Radiant
Lisi – So true! Your close friendships far outweigh the bullies and their cruel behaviour.