I married my high school sweetheart. We’ve been loving and laughing for several decades now. After university, he went in to his family’s business. I didn’t go to university because I went straight into my family’s business. We’ve both done really well – our businesses are booming.
As a result of the solid base we both had right out of the gate, as a couple, we were ‘ahead’ of our friends early on. We were able to buy a house, have kids, and travel. We have been very, very fortunate.
We love our friends and love to share, so we often have people over, for BBQ’s, pool parties, any holiday or excuse to be together. We never felt any jealousy from our friends; we knew they were happy for us and understood how it all came to be.
Recently, I overheard two teenage girls gossiping at a coffee shop. They didn’t see me as my back was turned. They were talking about their moms’ friend in a very rude and ugly way – and then I realized it was me they were referring to!
Do I confront my friends? I’m so hurt I can’t even speak to them!
Just living my life
Have your friends reached out to you since? Do they know you’re not talking to them? If yes to one or both, then the ball is in your court. If you’d like to salvage the friendship, then speak with them. I have a feeling they’ll deny everything, but try to get to the root of the gossip.
If the answer to my first question was No, then I’m telling you that they already know and are trying to figure out what they should do next.
Really, it’s up to you. If they’re long, dear friends then you guys could talk it out and hopefully move past this. I just hope they haven’t been harbouring this ill-will so long that they can’t let it go.
This is going to sound ridiculous, but my baby is overly-friendly. He reaches out to anyone who smiles at him. He’s a real charmer.
I’m much shyer than that, and I don’t want to talk to every single person he makes eye contact with. I had him in the stroller yesterday, and took him for a walk in the late afternoon sun. It was his nap time but he was being fussy and he usually falls asleep in the stroller quickly.
I was looking forward to listening to my podcast and just being out in the fresh air. Instead, I was stopped no less than 10 times in 45 minutes, and he never closed his eyes.
How do I reconcile our personality differences moving forward? I can just see how this is going to play out and I’m not looking forward to all the socializing.
Not-so-Friendly Mama
I love this question because it’s fresh and real, and I am 100% certain you are not the only mama to ever find yourself in this predicament.
I’m more like your baby. I like people and I’m not shy. However, I do sometimes find myself in the same situation when out walking my dog. I want to use that time to make a phone call, or listen to a podcast, and everyone wants to pet my dog, comment on his cuteness and ask about his breed. I don’t want to be rude, but it is disruptive to my planned me-time.
Here’s my advice: If your baby needs to sleep and you’ve put him in the stroller, cover the stroller lightly with a shade/blanket. That’ll give him some shade, no one will see in to catch his attention, and he’ll fall asleep to the movement.
My husband and I completely disagree on who we think gives better advice, Lisi or Ellie. I think Ellie because she’s soft and sweet, but tells people what she thinks. My husband thinks Lisi is better because she just calls it like it is, with no kid-gloves.
How do we continue reading the columns if we don’t agree on the advice given?
Conflicted Duo
I can’t tell whether you’re joking or not, but either way, I appreciate that you and your husband both read our columns. My advice would be to use our answers as a means of communicating. Talk it through. Do you have to agree on the advice? Why can’t you agree to disagree?
When you watch a movie together, do you both have to either like it or hate it? Can’t one of you like it more than the other? The conversations will bring you two closer.