Dear Readers: Here's a personal account from one couple, inspiring hope about achieving what they call, "Love in the afternoon of life."

His Story - After my lovely wife of 50-plus years died in 2005, it never occurred to me to look for another relationship. Two years later, I received a call from a woman suggesting that we meet. She explained that my niece was her daughter's friend and that they'd thought it a good idea for us to get together. Since she lived across the city, I made the excuse that driving in winter was difficult for me.

One evening, while having dinner at my niece's home, this woman and her daughter arrived for coffee. I was furious, as I knew I'd been set up, so I shortly left.

Several weeks later, I decided to visit her to ease my conscience for being discourteous. To my surprise, I discovered we had much in common having grown up in the same city in South Africa.

Also, we had similar political and religious views. I impulsively invited her to come for tea the next weekend.

That afternoon passed pleasantly, and by its end we each felt strangely physically and mentally in tune. It's over four years since then and we've continued to spend all our weekends together at alternate houses. We are very much in love.

Her Story - I'd felt intense loneliness after my husband's death, and in spite of having a warm circle of women friends, and a close family living nearby, I missed male companionship, so different from that of women! So I made the phone call that changed my life.... and his.

My daughter said her friend's uncle was lonely, and isolated. She said, "He's an atheist, like you; a keen reader like you; and likes classical music as you do." When we met at his niece's, I was attracted to him immediately but he shortly upped and left.

When he arranged to visit me and later invited me to visit him, it began a wonderful love affair. Every weekend together feels like a honeymoon. We're both octogenarians who've had the good fortune to find love in the afternoon of life.

My friend was very comfortable talking about sexual matters. She once commented that she couldn't stop watching my nipples and wanted to touch them. I was shocked but brushed it off since my husband was there.

I knew she was joking. She's incredibly blaming and manipulative with no relationship success. My marriage is important and I now know she was a bad choice of friend.

So I told her that I wished no further contact.

She blamed me for talking to her ex about personal matters (I did not). She's told some form of our story to a mutual friend, and I've told her to move on and keep quiet, just as I did in regards to her badmouthing everyone she knows.

I hate this. We're adults and just because she burns bridges, doesn't mean I should feel bad. But I'll tell my side of the story to mutual friends. I was warned that she was crazy but I enjoyed her friendship.

Bad Choice

Bad drama. You're still "connected" to this difficult woman by obsessing over what she said, about whomever she's told this non-story, and your own mistaken belief she was a friend.

She's a troublemaker. Ignore any further feedback about her. Just hold your head high and brush it off, saying you don't pay attention to her stories. Mean it.

A female co-worker's getting married soon. I figured maybe a couple of her closest work-friends would be invited, but not the rest of our work-mates. To my surprise, our entire circle has been invited, except me.

There are no hard feelings between us. We've never fought or had disagreements. She's a lovely person; we're always friendly towards each other. I suspect it's because my desk's located away from everyone else. I'm geographically out of the loop in many instances. Still, I'm a little hurt.

How To Handle?

It's an odd decision on the bride's part, but, as you say, the list has to be cut somewhere. Be gracious... wish her well before the wedding and say you're sure she'll be a beautiful and happy bride. If, by any chance it's an oversight, she might pick up this clue.

If not, continue with your same relationship afterward. It's about numbers, not you.