Recently, my wife said our marriage was over with no chance for reconciliation. I was shocked, though we've had a strained relationship for a while. We have two children.

My wife's a personal support worker who'd been caring for a lady full-time in her own home, until she went into hospital and passed away three weeks ago.

Within days of her death, this lady's husband and my wife started spending time together and they now go on dinner dates. She says he listens to her and makes her feel appreciated. I suspected she had feelings for him before our breakup and now she says she wants to have a serious relationship with him.

He's 60, she's mid-30s. Is it just me or is this relationship wrong?

Heartbroken

Their relationship isn't the only issue here. Sure, rushing together so quickly after a death is wrong on both their parts. And this naturally stings you, both personally and morally.

But focusing on judging their relationship doesn't help you deal with the realities of a breakup, if she persists towards divorce.

And you've acknowledged the strain yourself, which meant there was clearly much "wrong" between you two. Instead of discussing it and trying to resolve it, you accepted the strain and she chose to escape.

Now use this sudden shock to try to examine what was missing between you two. This doesn't mean the breakup is your fault.... I don't know nor apparently do you, whether she was insecure about your feelings for her, unhappy within herself, not communicating what she wanted, etc. Whatever it was, you missed it and you both ignored it.

Tell her that you want to at least discuss what happened, if only for the sake of splitting amicably and going forward as parents who can both raise the kids.

You both need to understand her motivation. Otherwise, each of you may make similar mistakes in your next relationships. Getting separation counselling together can benefit you two, and will certainly make it easier for you to help your children adjust.

I've been engaged for two years. We really want to get married this summer but I'm worried about his financial situation.

While I don't mind that he has some debt (student loans that he's been unable to pay off), I worry that I will be held responsible for his debt.

Will the creditors come after my property and me and will this affect my credit score? I currently have great credit and this is the only thing stopping us from moving forward and getting married. We're truly in love but I'm confused by the legalities!

Balanced Account

Go to the source. Ask your bank manager, who's aware of your credit rating and finances, how marriage to someone with debt affects your standing. If the bank can provide answers to your legal questions, pursue this.

However, you can seek greater legal protection, if possible in your jurisdiction, through a pre-nuptial agreement secured through a family law lawyer. This will only refer to debts your fiancé accumulated before marriage - again, if possible - but is unlikely to affect debts he accrues afterward.

Depending on the amount of the money owed, and how much you trust him to not overspend and be careless about borrowing, his student loans should not affect your marrying him. It seems a cold, calculated way to approach marriage, unless you really have doubts about his ability to become financially responsible in time.

I invite my best friend and her child for dinner at least once per month. I also take care of her child in my home whenever asked. In the past four or five years, she's not invited me or my family to her home even once, yet talks about entertaining other friends. We have similar houses, so it's not about space.

I have two kids and run a home business. I've dropped hints, about other friends who never reciprocate, to no avail. My kids are VERY well behaved, so that's not an issue either! Should I stop inviting her over until she reciprocates?

Hurt

Speak up. A "best friend" can be spoken to directly, or the friendship's unbalanced in other ways, too. "Let's get together at your place next time" is not an accusation or confrontation. If she hesitates, just say you want your families to socialize but feel you should both take turns.