My in-laws and I get along, but in small doses, as we're very different. My husband admits they drive even him nuts after more than five days. So we've made a five-day visiting rule.

However, they just bought a dog. They baby talk to it, and call it my husband's "sister." We also have a dog, which is quiet and unassuming while their dog's a constant barker. We also recognize our dog is not a person. They've given theirs no limits - it's constantly up on furniture and scratching at closed bedroom doors.

We're moving into a new home and the in-laws want to visit, help us fix it up. Very generous. I'd really prefer they not bring their misbehaving dog. I think my husband should make that request.

He says they'll insist on bringing the dog and my request is unreasonable.

Anti-Barking

Your house, your boundaries, but you must set them early, and you and your husband must agree.

You don't want to insult your in-laws, so their doggie obsession needs to be accepted and worked around.

Example, during their visit to help out, hire a neighbourhood dog-walker to keep both dogs out of the house as much as possible. When inside during this hectic period, keep both in a worry-free room with some soft doggie toys.... and ignore the barking or wear earplugs.

Otherwise, get other help fixing up the house - it's wrong to accept their offer and then offend them.

You could also offer a dog-training course in exchange for their help.

Regarding further five-day visits, your husband must speak up. Their dog needs house limits, or they all won't be appreciated at anyone's home.

I've been working in a small company, love my job, and also love one of my co-workers. When I started, we were both in relationships, but I was instantly attracted to him.

We've had a very flirtatious friendship. We work together a lot, but I've also been away for months at a time continuing my education.

Ultimately, my relationship ended, but while I was away he proposed to his girlfriend. Since I returned, I've tried to make our interactions less flirtatious.

He's noticed a change and will ask me if something's wrong, then he'll try to do something to make me laugh or smile. It can be very distracting to remembering that he's engaged.

Our eyes still connect across the room and linger. It makes me feel his feelings equal mine.

Recently, he's found a job elsewhere and will be leaving soon. He says we'll still be friends, but I fear this'll be the end.

I don't want to break up a relationship on course for marriage, but I also don't want to be the woman who lets the love of her life marry someone else.

Struggling

Weigh the risks. So far, he's made no move beyond this office flirtation, he's leaving willingly, and he's made a total commitment to someone else.

You could still state your feelings in an attempt to get him to re-consider his engagement.... and if he says it's not mutual, any embarrassment you feel will be private since he's gone.

But there's an emotional risk here, too. Can you handle the feelings of rejection, and discovering that for him, it was only "office fun?" Or, can you handle that he likely has some feelings but not enough to hurt his fiancée?

Think this through. If nothing happens, put off any "just-friends" get-togethers for a while, and be prepared to eventually meet his wife.

FEEDBACK Regarding the readers' "comments" about the couple who were having an affair again in their 70's... they'd reconnected after their affair of years past (November 19):

Reader - "I'm shocked at the judgment and "scolding" by the readers. They sound full of disappointment themselves - in love and marriage. We must always affirm love, and given enough support, these two might, by themselves, make a right decision.

"You helped me a few years ago with a situation (in my 60's and looking for a romance) and I've been grateful ever since. You made me believe in myself in such a sweet way, and today, I'm happily involved with someone, and with a newfound self-awareness.

Thanks for that gift. It reminds me to repeat this advice to those who seek a healthy relationship: Believe in yourself, in your own good qualities, and that you want a true partnership with equality and respect.