I was pregnant when I married my husband last year. I discovered he was cheating – he had phone/cyber sex with her instead of with me. I learned he saw naked pictures of eight different girls, had phone/cyber sex with them.    
      He told them he didn’t like his family life. He lied at first, then cried when I confronted him. He said, too often, that he hadn't any sexual contact; but he had, with someone here.     
      We’re doing more stuff together again, as a family or as a couple. He thanks me that he has such a wonderful and supportive wife. But I still don't fully trust him because he gets cell phone messages in the middle of the night. And his Internet use keeps me suspicious.    
      Does he love me? Is it worth holding on?
      - Confused

Do YOU love him? If so, why? Only those answers can guide you. Example: If he’s a good father and you feel well treated and respected despite his past behaviour, it’s “worthwhile” to try to save the marriage.    
      BUT, if he reverts to old ways – absent, distracted, constantly on his cell phone or computer – he likely hasn’t changed.

I’m 39, emigrated here with my mother and brother, 38. Through work, I eventually had $80,000 down payment for an apartment with Mom (we shared maintenance and mortgage costs, I paid the property tax).    
      When I married, Mom stayed there on condition she pay for everything. I decreased the mortgage payment so she could afford it. My brother paid for her car.      
      My husband and I bought a home with his down payment money, but couldn’t sell the condo to help pay down our mortgage, which he feels is a priority. He feels our sacrifice is unfair.    
      I told Mom I wanted to sell the condo and would give her enough money towards a rental apartment where she’d pay less costs. She created a drama, so we gave her three years grace.   
      When the time came (2009), she made me feel guilty again. My brother suggested he buy half the condo from me, or that we pay equal amounts towards a new one. But I was already convincing my husband to let my Mom stay.
      Recently, my brother and his family distanced from us. I discovered that he’s purchased a condo (plus tenant). I suggested he finds accommodation for Mom and I pay for the car; he doesn’t accept that things are so unbalanced.
      They have similar salaries to ours, but they overspend while we’re conservative so have better finances.     
      My husband sent him a nasty message; my brother doesn’t want to see or be close to him, ever. My mother and brother think everything is okay, as we, in the future, will enjoy the benefits of owning this condo. Are we being selfish and greedy?
      - Feeling Betrayed

Financial differences between siblings – whether real or created – are often divisive. You unwittingly set yourself up for this situation by looking after Mom so well, then trying to change things.     
      When you didn’t jump at your brother’s fair suggestion, you dug yourself deeper into being the responsible child. Your husband was naturally annoyed, BUT he didn’t have the right to be nasty … you did the deal.     
      Apologize to your brother and explain to your husband that only by making peace, and apologizing too, will there ever be a chance that Mom and her son will recognize he owes you more help to maintain her.

My boyfriend and I have a son, nine; I have adult kids from my previous marriage and he has teenage daughters.  He didn’t get a separation agreement, he just left them.     
      We don’t get along but love each other. Sometimes I want to leave with my son, but I’m scared because he’ll kill me or steal my son and take him back to his country.
      - Distraught

Your fears are more urgent than the “love” – that sounds more like feeling dependent and trapped. For the safety of your son and yourself, re-examine your situation.    
      Call a local Distress Centre (in the phone book’s Yellow Pages) and find out where there’s a nearby women’s shelter; talk to the experienced staff there and learn possibilities for finding safe housing, financial and legal help, and other options for gaining independence.     
      Do your research privately and, if you decide to leave, first arrange a safe exit plan.