This may be TMI for your column, but I’m asking anyway. I like to be bare down there. As in, completely bare. I wax everything off, front to back, and I exfoliate with a special brush that keeps the little hairs at bay so I can stay super smooth for longer. In the past, my partners have all loved it, mostly because of the softness.

My newest partner, however, is completely turned off. He thinks it’s strange and says he feels like a pedophile. I tried to get him to close his eyes, but it’s still a touch sensation that he just can’t get his head around. Either of them.

He’s asked me to grow my pubes back out, but the in-between stage is very itchy and makes me feel less sexy, which makes me less interested in intimacy. I like this guy a lot, and I’m willing to make changes for him, but I’m not sure this is a change I can make.

Do you think it’s worth it?

Bare Naked

I can’t decide whether it’s worth it for you to do anything – ever. However, as my mother would say, it’s only hair. She meant that it would grow back after a bad haircut, but the saying still applies. It’s only hair and you can wax it off at any time.

However, I believe it’s important for you two to discuss this issue, especially if this is a new relationship. You need to learn now how to talk about issues, big or small, if you’re going to have a chance at a future. Tell him you understand his feelings, and you don’t want him to be disgusted by your body. Nevertheless, it’s YOUR body, so he needs to respect that you can do whatever you want to your own body.

Agree to grow it out, but make sure that he understands how the growing out phase makes you feel. When you’re no longer itchy, get back to business. If his satisfaction doesn’t outweigh your discomfort, and vice versa, you two won’t make it past the next wax.

During my 15-year marriage, my husband and I had sex a minimum of once a week, always on Saturday night. He was insistent that we go out with friends, every Saturday night, and when we came home, we always had sex.

He was also very insistent that we had a date night once a week, and that one night a week I was to go out with my friends, and one night a week he was to go out with his friends. This meant that the children only had a full family on three nights of the week. Even if none of my friends were available, I was to go out, even if I had no interest.

And that went for Saturday night sex as well. It didn’t matter if I didn’t want to engage. I can count on my hands the Saturday nights I was “allowed” not to have sex with him. I had either just given birth or was so pregnant, he wasn’t aroused.

I found out later that he had cheated on me throughout our entire marriage (and before) and put me at risk for many health reasons. We’re divorced, but I’m damaged.

How can I find myself again?

I hate Saturday Night

You need therapy. Your husband was controlling and abusive. You didn’t recognize the signs; then you probably went along with it because you thought it worked and was normal; and then you probably felt trapped. But you got out and you’re free.

Get professional help to work through your past and take back your Saturday nights. Don’t let your past rule your future.

FEEDBACK Regarding the masturbating son (June 28):

Reader – “You really got it wrong with your advice. I've been masturbating since I was 12 years old, I’m now 79 and have never had a rash from such activity. I have, however, had jock itch (tinea cruris), which is easily treated with antifungal medications and proper hygiene.

“The mother should obtain some literature on jock itch and leave it for the boy to read. He can take it from there. But please don't traumatize him by dragging him off to the doctor. I seriously doubt that the boy has a rash from doing it too often. I don't think there's such a phenomenon as over-masturbation. Better luck next time.”

Older and Wiser

Reader #2 – “My son didn’t get a rash, but more like a rugburn from so much friction. His pediatrician, fortunately a man, was able to discuss how to prevent that happening again.”