Her dating site profile stated that she was currently separated. She told me divorce was imminent. We developed a full-blown love affair. 

She has children from a previous marriage, as does her husband, plus one child together. He’s still a big part of her life because of the child.

I’m a single dad with two teenagers who live with me. I also come from a very large, close-knit family, while her siblings and children are scattered all over the area.

She’s met my entire family, and they’ve accepted her with open arms. I’ve been to her home once, met one of her kids, but not the live-in teenager from her husband.

No divorce papers have been filed. Her husband’s aware that she’s dating.

My marriage (21 years) ended when I discovered my ex-wife’s infidelity. Now I’m a party to a similar situation. Should I step away?

I’m concerned because she’s stated that her marriage was abusive, verbally and physically and she’s in counselling for that.

- Perplexed

Step aside - not away - and set some time-lines for getting back in step with her. She set you up for different expectations of dating a soon—free woman. Now you both know the reality: there’s much drama ahead. Your relationship has to go beyond the excitement of a love affair, to determined commitment on both sides. 

IF you’re ready for this, insist that she must soon serve her husband divorce papers. She’ll need to first talk to her therapist and a lawyer about a responsible plan.

If abuse is anticipated, she needs safe accommodation (not with you).

After that, you two need to work out logistics: I recommend living apart with your own children awhile, and taking time to build a union that everyone can respect.

This guy was my best friend, but I’m starting to want more. 

I have a huge fear of rejection because I’m always the “friend,” never the girlfriend. Yet I want to tell him because we’re close enough that it shouldn’t affect the friendship.

- Confused

Being the “friend” has apparently blocked previous “best friends” from seeing you romantically. 

This time, cool the closeness. Be hard to reach, somewhat mysterious, but without telling him why. Let several weeks go by. Then, if he’s still calling, meet and tell him you have feelings.

It’s worth the risk.

My best friend (male) is engaged to a really sweet girl, she and I have become friends too. 

Recently, I found some incriminating photos exchanged between the guy and our other friend. He was telling her that he wanted to have sex with her next time we get together. She said she didn’t want to because of his fiancee but he said not to worry about her, she’d never find out.

This puts me in a bad position. Those two have been friends for years but they’ve never hooked up before.

I’m unsure what to do about this.

- Upset

Tell this guy he’s messing up all around. He’s sure to lose his fiancee because he’s such a blatant dog, she WILL find out some day. 

He’s losing your respect, and it won’t take much more for you to find it impossible to stay friends.

He’s headed for trouble with his other “friend,” if he starts a sexual relationship, as she’ll get tired of being used.

He should do everyone a favour and break off the engagement. Being a horny dude is risky enough, but being a cheating liar offends everyone.

I’m early 30’s, single for five years; I go out, lead an active life, am open to new things and people.  

I have a great job, friends and life but, for some reason, that’s not good enough. I seem doomed to be single forever.

Should I just accept that I may never find love again?

- Poor Me in Montreal

For whom is singlehood not “good enough?” I ask this, because a “poor me” self-image is counter-productive to what you’re seeking. 

The real message you’re sending out is one of loneliness and need. Your life is full and flourishing, so start seeing that as more than good enough.

Make family from friends, and friends with family, stay active and upbeat, fulfill your interests in new things, and take on some exciting challenges.

All that should have you truly believing in yourself as a success. Anything added, becomes icing on the cake.