My boyfriend and I are dating again for one year, after a three-year break-up from our on-off relationship. But he’s become extremely frustrated and impatient with me. Friends say it’s because of his work.      
      He's an ambitious, aggressive workaholic who lives and works to win. I’m 35, he’s 38.      
      I’ve become afraid of him. On our recent anniversary, instead of giving his gift (jewellery) to me, he threw it to the sofa. When I gave him his gift (new shoes), he threw them at the wall. Later, I found them in the garbage can.      
      I can't imagine marrying him someday. Would he beat me up? Will he ever change? Is he dating someone else? Has he given up on me?     He refuses to sit down and talk, share, or listen.  
      - Worried

An assessment of his behaviour’s a lot easier than figuring out yours. Either your guy has developed severe emotional and/or health stress and should be checked out medically, or he’s a rude, moody, angry jerk.      
      But what are YOU doing about this? IF he has major work stress he won’t share, you’re not in a real partnership so there’s no incentive to just accept his outbursts.      
      Or, if he’s acting markedly different from the past, you should be responding as a caring partner and urging him to see a doctor about possible serious conditions (chemical changes, brain tumour, etc.).      
      However, if in your heart you know he’s a self-absorbed difficult man you can’t stay with long-term - why are you still there?      
      Your local distress hotline (see the Yellow Pages) or abused women’s agency (contact your area’s community services) will help you form a safe plan for leaving this man, if fear is holding you back.

I’ve been married for 18 years with three kids. Our marriage is good, my husband’s a reliable, decent, fun person; but it can all change when he gets mad and I still can't get used to his short fuse!      
      He’s improved somewhat since having kids but he’s still impatient and gets mad at the kids if they argue (kids do fight).      
      He hates to spend money and this causes MANY arguments. He grew up poor with an alcoholic father, so I understand, but his anger has ruined MANY family outings.        
      He won’t go for counselling. He’s told me to let him be when he’s angry, but this doesn’t work if we’re out in public.      
      When he’s angry, I feel so down, nervous, sad and uptight. Our kids get very upset, too. How do I deal with him in a healthy way? I don't want my children thinking this is acceptable behaviour. Yet one child’s exactly like him!
      - Frustrated

Anger isn’t uncommon among children (even adults) of alcoholics. You may reach your husband through concern for his childhood experience, and showing the link to how his current unpredictable and disturbing manner affects his own kids.    
      If, when calm, he accepts this, urge him to go to Al-Anon, where he’ll find a support group and learn how others have been burdened with similar anger from having lived with an alcoholic.      
      Hopefully, it can trigger his desire for change and counselling.      
      Even if he rejects this approach, go to an Al-Anon meeting yourself, where you’ll learn some of the coping strategies others use.      
      Meanwhile, show your daughters a strong, consistent model of handling anger through various de-fusing mechanisms (breathing exercises, yoga, etc.), and learning to negotiate and compromise about what you want rather than fight about it.

Lately, I’ve been bumping into acquaintances whom I haven’t seen in years. After an initial Hello, and How are you, I’m unsure how to proceed with a meaningful conversation.      
      The logical questions that come to mind could end up embarrassing us both, like asking about someone’s mate only to hear they’re now divorced. What are acceptable catch-up queries?
      - Awkward

An unscheduled surprise encounter should NOT lead to a personal interrogation session. People who want you to know they’re separated, pregnant, engaged, re-located, etc., will speak up and tell you so. The rest just want to exchange basic pleasantries, and are happy with, “Its great to see you again.”      
      If you feel a desire to re-connect, suggest you get together for a coffee, lunch or whatever, in the near future. You’ll know by the response whether there’s mutual interest in really catching up, or this meet-n’-greet is enough for now.