My boyfriend works at a restaurant several nights a week. He’s an amazing waiter: very personable, chatty with the clientele but not too much, able to remember multiple orders, and dexterous in his ability to manage many dishes at once. I’m always so proud of him when I watch him at work.

But I need to be honest – I get a little jealous watching him with other women. He’s very handsome, at least I think so, and women constantly flirt with him. He is expected to flirt back a little so as not to be rude, and I understand that, but sometimes I feel he doesn’t know when to stop.

And that happens when I’m sitting right there! What happens when I’m NOT there??? I don’t want to come across as a jealous partner, but it really bothers me.

How do I handle this?

Juggling Jealousy

I hate to tell you this, but this is a YOU problem. Now I’m assuming that his flirtation only happens at work, and he’s never acted on any of it. That’s a big assumption, but you didn’t mention any flirtatious activity outside of his work, or even a hint that he’s cheated on you.

So, it’s his actions at work that get your goat. And I understand that. I wouldn’t like to see my partner flirting with other women night after night either. But your boyfriend comes home to you every night. He has, I imagine, explained to you that he needs to be a bit flirty.

Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Ask him if he can curb the flirtation even more, especially when you’re around. Tell him you need a little more validation.

Then figure out how to not let it get to you.

A few nights ago, I went out for a late-night dog walk on my own. I usually go with my girlfriend but she was still out with friends, and I wanted to go to bed. While out, I heard a woman talking loudly though I couldn’t figure out where she was or what she was saying. I turned a corner and didn’t hear her anymore; then turned another corner and heard her again.

As I came by a parkette, I saw a woman sitting alone on a bench, crying. I asked if she was OK, but I didn’t approach her. She said yes and shooed me away. There was something uncomfortable about her response, so I left quickly, raced home and called 911.

How am I ever going to find out if she was OK? I’m literally losing sleep over it. And my girlfriend is annoyed because I won’t let her walk anywhere in our neighbourhood at night alone anymore.

So concerned

I believe that you did the right thing by calling the police. At the very least, they were dispatched to the area, found nothing untoward and that woman was just having a bad day. Knowing someone out there cared probably meant something to her.

If she was still there when they arrived, the police would have assessed the situation and dealt with it accordingly.

Unfortunately, once you call in an emergency to 911, you can’t call back and get information. It’s a privacy issue. You don’t know the people involved and they don’t know you.

I strongly suggest you speak to a professional to sort through your emotions. Your concern for your girlfriend’s safety is commendable, but you don’t want her to feel controlled or unnecessarily scared.

FEEDBACK Regarding the Mother’s Day mom (May 28):

Reader – “First, kudos to this mom. It IS hard work, and you’re doing an amazing job with your children!

“My gut feeling is that the husband/father here is a narcissist, and the way in which he only half-completes looking after his children (the sloppy vomit clean, taking his sweet time) is manipulative. He leaves his wife sitting on the bathroom floor trying to nurse their baby while their daughter is crying. This speaks volumes that he doesn’t care about her.

“She wonders if it’s okay that she’s angry, showing her insecurity, a perfect victim for a manipulative narcissist. The best help for her at this stage is to build her safety net: supportive family, friends, neighbours, therapist, doctor. It will be helpful for her to keep a diary. She needs help she’s not getting from her husband. She needs community resources for women.”