I’m 25, with a baby, seven months. My husband of eight months and I had been living together for five years before I got pregnant. 

Due to family pressure and for insurance purposes, we had a quickie courthouse wedding while I was pregnant, with the promise of a nice, traditional wedding to follow.

My husband never proposed; I chose my own ring, and the wedding plans are fading fast.

My husband’s wrapped up in his baseball league and sports teams and doesn’t seem interested in weddings, or in me, anymore. He’s a wonderful father and a hard worker; I feel badly complaining, but I work nights (massage-therapy), care for the baby all day, and feel unappreciated.

He says his work is more important because he makes more money. He’s even suggested my quitting work if it interferes with his baseball!

My hobbies have practically disappeared but he still makes time… or makes me make time for his interests.

Meanwhile, I’m increasingly frustrated about not having a decent wedding, and being last among his priorities, though I love him dearly.

- Am I Selfish?

It's the change that has you frustrated, not the wedding. 

You're focusing on a "problem," to which you can direct your disappointment (and yes, anger), rather than face up to Hubby and insist that both of you have to adjust your schedules and compromise. After five years together, everything's different, white dress or not. And baby's growth (crawling, walking, talking, school) will continue to change your lives. So… drop the wedding woe and get serious about how you two can co-operate in being a family.

When you've both agreed on satisfying schedules that work, it'll be a lot easier to figure out when and how to have and afford a wedding (which should now be more of a celebration).

My fiancé and I have been living in my home with my teenage daughters, for five years. 

My fiancé and one daughter don’t like each other but stay away from each other. He doesn’t know how to talk or deal with teenage girls, and doesn’t interfere with discipline, other than to feed me information, such as my daughter skipping school (he’s sometimes home during the day as he works shift work).

My daughter’s going through the high-maintenance teen years, and I’m worried that she’s often non-communicative, but she’ll likely turn out fine.

My problem is that my fiancé obsesses to me about his frustration with her; causing many disagreements between us. I feel he should butt out as he isn’t interested in developing a relationship with her. I’d prefer that, unless my daughter’s doing something dangerous, that he not feed me any information.

I’m also worried about whether this will significantly affect my daughter’s self esteem that they’re not fond of each other yet forced to live in the same house.

- Need Suggestions

This is about you and he, more than them. 

You have a good handle on your daughter’s well-being, but you appear at a loss about dealing with your partner. Take a serious look at the big picture and both your parts in it: If HE isn’t flexible or caring enough to even attempt having a better relationship with your daughter, is he the partner you want for the long-term?

Are YOU just treating him like another one of your charges who has to do everything your way, and is this approach interfering with his desire to have a better relationship with her?

Family counselling is needed for everyone’s sake.

I’m male, 30s, and had a full single life seeing friends, family, working. 

Recently, I fell in love; she’s possibly “the one”... However, she’s also in love and wants to see me every second day.

Sometimes I’d like to stay home, take care of things and get some rest, but I know she’d be disappointed. How can I make her understand that I need some personal time occasionally?

I find having to account for every minute of my free time exhausting.

- Overtime Love

It’s Early Days: compelling love, niggling insecurity. Unless she’s very needy, with few interests outside you (if so, go slowly), then she, too, will need time for herself, as soon as she’s secure in the relationship. 

Meanwhile, adjustments to the single lifestyle are needed - keep contact but see people less, or with your girlfriend; and communicate with her about a “night off” at home, for both of you.