I'm supposed to be getting married in six weeks to the love of my life. I have four kids who think of him as Dad, and he has two kids, to whom I'm close. We've only been together for two years, but have known each other for 15.

I found out yesterday that he was texting with a girl to hook up, that they were supposed to meet that day, but something happened and the meeting fell through.

I have a lot of this information because the girl thought she was texting him but was actually texting me.

He apologized, saying that he'll cut all ties with her completely and will remove any other girl off Facebook or email that I want so I'm comfortable.

He says he wants to go back on his anti-depressants (he went off recently because he missed doctors' appointment and had no refills) and agreed to go back to see a couples' therapist.

He even agreed to leave his cell phone at home when he goes out and to work until I'm confident that the girl isn't contacting him.

He still wants to get married, but says that although he needs to take responsibility, he wants me to know that he was feeling like that because he didn't feel that I was connecting with him, and always made him feel like he was no good.

Am I stupid for giving us a try? Am I setting a bad example to my children if I stay with a man who started to cheat on me once?

Uncertain

You're not stupid, but you'd be taking a risk that could end badly. Delay the wedding. If he's serious about all the things he's willing to change, he can prove it over at least six months, and you can then set another date - IF you're reassured.

However, you MUST learn through the therapy if his being off his meds prompted him to give such a negative reason for why he did this.

After all, having a hook-up with someone else wasn't going to be a true "connection"... it was only going to be cheating! Even coming up with an excuse that blamed you is a serious red flag. You need more time to see if he's a man you and your kids can trust.

My boyfriend of two years has changed. He now plans on travelling for work, as well as pleasure, and he's somewhat of a daredevil.

I don't feel it's worth risking your life just to climb a mountain, etc. But he plans to do all this, with or without me.

It's causing me to build a wall, and be far less interested in sex (it used to be great). I still love to spend time with him, but he wonders why I'm not as affectionate as before.

Should I be concerned about what's ahead since I'm thinking long-term with him?

Wrong Match?

Your body's leading your mind in the right direction. Intimacy is difficult, because you're recognizing that you might not be suited for a life together.

Of course sex was great when it was all about the romance of finding a boyfriend. And "daredevils" can be very attractive when you're talking dreams.

But for you, this is NOT a long-term lifestyle that attracts. And he seems to be more confirmed in wanting to live on the edge.

Take a break. In time you'll both know whether one of you is willing to change. Or not.

FEEDBACK Regarding the woman who calls herself "scatterbrained" and her rigid boyfriend (Feb. 28):

Reader - "My sister's in an emotionally abusive relationship. She swears she's in no harm, but shakes when he belittles and yells at her. There's so much denial of abuse, and acceptance, and dismissal of his inappropriate behaviour.

"He acts like this because he had a bad work day or is moody. So many excuses. She believes the relationship is fine because he's otherwise wonderful.

"This is why women don't leave. He's not constantly mean - he's nice and manipulative the other times.

"Even if someone's not in harm's way, abuse destroys self-esteem. My sister was upbeat and gregarious before she met him. She's now depressed, anxious, unemotional, and robotic. She accepts what he says to avoid confrontation. The victim gets twisted by the abuser to believe he's the only one who loves you and you don't deserve better."