My husband will consistently walk a few paces ahead of me, always blaming me for walking too slow, yet he'll adjust his pace for others. I’d laugh, but it’s not funny anymore.
Our vacation of a lifetime... he spent with everyone else. I enjoyed the trip more as a single than as a couple.
When visiting a female friend, conversation became a contest for him to be the sole conversationalist (I was blown away). This has happened on a couple of occasions, something he’s reluctantly admitted to.
I’m not confrontational, he is. I feel our relationship is in need of repair, something he won’t admit. Counselling isn’t an option.
- Not Laughing
You’ve put up with this behaviour long enough for it to become entrenched, so Mr. Ego has little reason to change.
Counselling IS an option, for you. Otherwise, there’s not going to be any “repair” to the relationship if he doesn’t see a need, and you don’t know have the tools.
I can confirm your view: Yes, you do have a problem living with this self-centered, extrovert. I suspect that when you first met and dated, you were originally drawn to his outgoing personality, and preferred to stay in the background. But now, you want more balance in the relationship. Tell all this to a counsellor and learn how to speak up for yourself without shooting hubby down or creating a wider breach between you. With a little bit of shaking things up, you should be able to start walking apace in the marriage. If not, you may have to tell him that joint counselling is urgently needed, to keep you together.
My daughter-in-law is phony with me.
When I tell her how to do things, she smiles and says, “That’s a good idea,” but then does what she wants.
- Fed Up Father-in-Law
She’s being tactful, so try her example: Instead of “telling her what to do,” discuss together some different approaches. That way, you’ll both learn from each other.
Our relationship three years ago got hot, and he got cold. Now he’s been dating a girl but we still speak and I still have feelings for him. We even hooked up a few times when he was drunk, while they were together.
I could tell her the truth and this would end their relationship.
I don’t know what to do; he says we can still be “friends” but can’t be together.
I still love him and he was my first.
Do we still have a chance or am I losing sleep over my first and only?
Even without a crystal ball, I can assure you he’s not your “only.” And if he keeps trying to keep you as a friend with benefits, your first will likely end up being your “worst” in memory.
I urge you to recognize that the “benefits” are only for him, since he just uses you as a sexual substitute when he’s too drunk for his girlfriend’s taste. Your relationship may’ve suited you, but clearly the timing was wrong for him.
Now that time is past, and it seems you’re the lucky one to be free to meet someone else. This guy’s a player with loose loyalties to his partner-of-the-moment.
Do NOT call his girlfriend; do NOT accept his booty call.
Think better of yourself, and start meeting new guys, with the attitude that whomever likes you has to show it, mean it, and plan to stick around.
My daughter, 12, is starting to be bossy, demanding, and controlling over her sister.
She doesn't care about her hygiene.
I’m a singleparent (with a boyfriend who’s getting upset by this daughter).
She had trouble with schoolmates so I transferred her.
She’s constantly eating and is overweight but says she doesn’t care.
I’ve taken everything away from her like laptop, and MP3 player.
Should I send her to boot camp?
- Mom Needs Help
Your daughter is the one who needs help. She’s at the age of hormonal changes, which affect mood, appetite and self-image.
She may be curious/concerned about boys, affecting how she talks to your boyfriend. His understanding and support could be very helpful, but his criticism can be devastating to her.
Talk to her school guidance counsellor and your family doctor to try to understand her better. Show her you’re a concerned parent who’s on her side, not against her.
Tip of the day:
If you stay in the background, don’t be surprised when someone else steals the limelight.