My mom has been a widow for about a year now, and she’s decided to do some much-needed renovations to her home. She’s not trying to make grand changes, but she does need to fix some big items and now is the chance to modernize a bit. I found her a good contractor; we agreed on all the line items and the cost. My mom was nervous and excited.
I helped her pack up some of the areas where the renos are taking place, and we agreed to get rid of some of dad’s things that we’d been holding on to. We called my sister who lives out of country and Face Timed with her for hours, reminiscing, laughing and crying. She wanted some things that we put aside in a box.
The work started and that box got mixed up with some other boxes that were moved to the basement. The contractor came almost daily in the beginning, explained what was happening that day, and introduced her to the painter, or plumber or whoever.
After a few weeks, my mom felt comfortable leaving her home while the workers were there. Everyone had gained her trust, and she couldn’t stay home all day every day. Three months in, my mom came home to find an electrician wearing my father’s fedora that my sister had asked for. Without thinking, she asked him where he got it. He told her a story. She called me immediately, and I called the contractor right away.
When I got to my mom’s, she was visibly shaken. Together we went down to the basement and saw that the box with my father’s things had been opened, rifled through and was near empty. We retrieved a few of the items but not all. Now my mom won’t let anyone in the house, the work isn’t finished, and we don’t know what to do.
Trust Abuse
I assume you filed a police report even though you managed to retrieve some of your items. And if you haven’t done so yet, you should.
Your mother feels justifiably betrayed. She let strangers into her home, whom she was paying, under the confidence of her contractor. The fact that his employees stole from you should be more upsetting to him. His nonchalance speaks volumes about his character.
Your mom needs to seek legal advice on this matter. She and the contractor have a written, and I assume, signed contract. But these people stole from you – and maybe even trespassed, if they were in an area that wasn’t part of their workspace. Get a lawyer – and a new contractor.
My neighbour lives alone now that her children are grown, both living with partners, in other cities. We’ve been friendly for nearly a decade when I moved in with my young children. I don’t know much about her, other than she is a single mom. In all the years we lived on the same street, I never saw a father figure come around…. but I never asked.
Recently I was walking by when I heard yelling coming from her home. I stopped to listen, but it ended quickly. I kept walking, chalking it up to a loud TV. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I made a point to walk by the next day and the next. On one occasion, I heard more yelling, and on the other, banging.
What do I do? I’m concerned but don’t want to meddle.
Caring Neighbour
According to my police source, it’s best to call your local police department and request a wellness check on your neighbour. Just tell them what you’ve been hearing, why you’re concerned. Do NOT knock on the door yourself. Let the police go first.
FEEDBACK Regarding the widower and his memories (Nov. 28):
Reader – “We had the same issue. We decided to use a hallway and create a family photo gallery of our wedding pics, parents, grandparents, siblings, children and grandchildren.
“Two years later, we replaced it with photos of two trips we’d taken together. The photos and other keepsakes went into memory boxes. We can walk down memory lane with these boxes and enjoy our pasts. Now we focus on and enjoy our time together.
“Enjoy your second time at love.”
FEEDBACK Regarding double religion (Nov. 27):
Reader – “Actually Santa Claus is a religious symbol. Santa means Saint and Clause is short for Nicholas. Saint Nicholas! Granted you wouldn't find Santa Clause in his red finery emblazoned in a church. This gentleman knows Santa represents Christianity and doesn't feel comfortable with Santa on his roof. The couple needs to have a long discussion about their beliefs.”