EVERYTHING is going wrong! My girlfriend dumped me, I’m failing a course that I now need to retake in the summer, which completely changes my summer plan, and my parents are getting a divorce. Also, my high school best friend has stopped talking to me because his ex-girlfriend told him she’s always had a crush on me. I never knew that, nor did I act on it. And my sister just told me she’s moving to Portugal, which is very far away.

I feel as though my whole world is exploding and I have no control over any of it. I can’t concentrate on my other classes and it’s crunch time. What do I do?

Too Much!

Breathe, slowly and read this: You’re young, you have your whole life ahead of you, you will overcome all these obstacles and time will make this mountain of issues dissipate.

Now let’s tackle each issue: Your girlfriend dumped you. Ouch! That hurts for sure. But don’t chase her down simply because SHE dumped YOU. Take a moment. Was your relationship really all that healthy? Do you love her? Do you really want her back? Marinate on those questions and see how you feel. Sometimes we’re more upset by the dump than the thought of not being with the person who dumped us. Don’t let that control your actions.

Continue to try hard in the course you’re failing. Pay attention. Learning something twice means you’ll have a much better understanding. And it sounds as though you don’t have a choice in retaking the course. So, make the most of it. Do you only have to take that one course this summer? Can you get a part-time job while you’re studying? Or can you take another course alongside this one to get ahead for next year? Plans change all the time; go with the flow.

I’m very sorry about your parents but there’s nothing you can do other than to accept that they came to this decision for good reasons, and they both probably need your support, your love and your strength. As for your sister, it’s so easy to stay connected these days with free technology, such as WhatsApp for calling, texting and video calling. And, since your summer plans have changed, maybe go spend some time with her after your course.

Lastly, you need to talk to your bestie. Tell him what you told me. He can believe what he wants. I think his ego is just bruised. Tell him that. Then tell him that you need him right now. Hopefully, he’ll recognize that his ex was just trying to upset him.

During COVID, we were all home, like everyone else. The kids were online schooling, I was working, and my husband was on Zoom call after Zoom call. We figured out how to break up the house, so everyone had privacy. It worked and we were successful during that time, all together constantly.

Fast forward six years, my husband has switched jobs and is now working remote. I’ve always worked from home, so my office remains. Thankfully, the kids are at school all day. We’ve done some renovating, and my husband now has a beautiful office in the basement.

Here’s the issue: he can’t seem to stay in his office! He roams the house, while on work calls, shushing me or anyone else who happens to be home. He’s driving me crazy!

COVID Revisited

You need to talk with your hubby. And you can solicit the kids, if they’re old enough. In a lighthearted way, you all need to remind him that his office is where he works, and the rest of the house is NOT his office. Come up with a code word to remind him if he ventures upstairs.

FEEDBACK Regarding beaten (Feb. 3):

Reader – “I’m very drawn to letters from women trying to leave abusive relationships. Today’s letter from Beaten asks, ‘how long will I continue to look over my shoulder?’

“As a survivor of an abusive marriage, I went into hiding with two babies far away and changed their names. That was 45 years ago, and it took me years to stop looking around the parking lot when I walked to my car. I always look in the back seat first when getting into my car. I would look at every man to make sure it wasn’t him. I lived in so much fear for years.

“Then one day my brother called and asked if I had seen the obituaries that day, and that my ex had passed away. I cried and cried for such relief that my body collapsed. Then and only then, I knew we would be safe!”