Our family dog is 18; she’s deaf, nearly blind and has seizures twice daily when she falls over. She pees the carpet as she loses control during seizures. Otherwise, she’s the playful dog we all love.    
      Realizing that the dog’s on her last days, the family’s decided to let her die a natural death at home. However, after over a month of seizures, I've argued that the dog’s in pain, wrecking our house and we should put her down.
      But my daughter threatened that she’d never forgive me if I did so.
      - Wavering

This is an emotional decision that should NOT become a father vs. daughter debate; you need a veterinarian’s assessment of the dog’s condition and how much suffering and pain she’s enduring.    
      The answer should be given to the whole family. If there’s medication to prevent seizures, and the dog would then have quality of life, carry on. If not, your daughter needs to learn the difference between self-interest and the kindest response to a pet’s difficult declining days.    
      This should also not be about the carpet, but about a life lesson for the whole family in letting go when someone we love needs our permission for a final peace.

After two years of a long distance relationship, we’re meeting soon. He’s smart, funny, manages a job and university really well. He lives in Britain, I’m in Canada, so he stays up to have our daily chat.       
      But, when I’m sad or bothered, he can't really tell. I’m emotional and sensitive and always had this fantasy and expectation that if I’m close to a guy, he should be able to take care of me when I’m feeling down. It’s not easy for me to open up, say that I’m sad and I want him to ask me why.      
      I feel I’m too dependent on him. I’ve never been so close to anybody else. So if he doesn't care, it hurts even more. Also I get angry quickly and am easily irritable.    
      So I think he’s scared to approach. I hint, sound sad, write small replies, but he doesn't get it. Then we end up fighting … more like me fighting against him, complaining about his mistakes and him saying sorry.      
      It’s the only huge problem we’re unable to deal with. Is it my fault? My life in comparison to his is pretty easy. I don't have to work; my only worry is about university.      
      I do have family issues; he’s an introverted person but opens up to me easily. And he’s committed, too. I’m sure he cares, but why doesn't he show it? Or are my expectations too high?
      - Confused

Close, committed relationships rarely run smoothly through all the varied emotions both parties experience.
      The fact that you two have stayed close and committed for two years without ever meeting, shows great determination on both parts.    
      BUT, yes, your expectations are too high, especially when you only send out hints of sadness and expect him to catch on, instead of being straightforward.    
      Stop the guessing game. It’s a lot fairer to both of you to simply say, “Hey, my family (or whatever) really has me down today.”     
      Your British Connection seems a good guy. Give him real information and stop agonizing over a problem that can be solved, if you just speak up.      
      It means looking after yourself to get what you need, which is a reality in relationships, rather than your fantasy that someone always knows when to take care of you.

Our daughter’s in her 30s, married with two small children, working full-time, living on the East Coast. My husband and I retired comfortably to Guatemala and visit her twice yearly, among our travels. My ex-husband (her father) has re-married, had a baby and is distanced from her.     
      My husband reported our growing friendship with a local couple (her age), along with their children and extended family that we see weekly. My daughter retorted angrily that she felt “betrayed.” How can we resolve this rift?
      - Distraught

Her harsh word “betrayal” was meant to shock, reflecting a greater sense of isolation from family than your new friendship could possibly mean. There’s been a divorce, geographical distance and her father’s distraction, added on to the daily responsibilities of her life.     
      She needs a reassuring visit from you alone. Participate in her day-to-day life there, so your future long-distance contact can be more meaningful to you both.