My girlfriend’s a stay-at-home alcoholic. We don't live together, for that reason. She initially came onto me (she had a job then). I warned her that I might not always be faithful. However, I have been faithful ever since.

She pursues people – ex-professors, tradespeople around her apartment, former work colleagues. She thinks flirting’s okay. She's slept with four other people.

I have a career, so I've probably been neglectful. She’s signed onto a dating site and now gives oral sex to a guy who buys her dinner. I thought it was my fault for being neglectful. I put more time into the relationship. She said she’d stop.

But she hasn't, and she's lied about it. She says oral sex isn't sex, so she didn't lie. I could forgive the infidelity -- if it stops -- but not the lies. What do I do?

Cheated

What were you thinking? Your own first decision was a set-up for this ugly mess, as in, “Hmm, you drink excessively, I might cheat, so no problems there….” Wrong!

She must’ve come on to you like a sexual tornado, for you to accept someone you wouldn’t live with, as your “girlfriend.”

Now she sleeps around and reports her infidelities to you…. and you still wonder what to do?

Do what you should’ve done long ago – end it, but first separate responsibly. Encourage her to join an Alcoholics’ Anonymous program and be emotionally supportive until she can regain some independence.

Talk to a lawyer about any financial obligations to her, depending on the length of the relationship, and if you’ve been paying her way.

Frankly, you could benefit from counselling yourself to find out why you ever accepted this situation.

I'm 27, dating a guy several years younger than me for four months, having ended a five-year relationship earlier this year.

I'm starting to fall for this guy, but can't shake the feeling he's looking for a different type. We chatted briefly about this yesterday and he agreed that he was previously looking for a particular type, however it didn't happen for him. He said, “But I meet new people everyday,” then added that finding that type doesn't matter to him anymore.

I feel he's keeping his options open and I can't fully open my heart to him. I like to be all or nothing. While his actions indicate that he's interested in me, will he always be having this "type of girl" in the back of his mind??

Am I playing on my own insecurities or should I leave him?

Unsure and Hurt

I suspect he’ll leave you first - not because of the other “type” but because you’re way too “all or nothing” so early in this relationship.

After ending a long connection so recently, what’s your hurry? Especially with both of you in your 20s?

Enjoy this guy and grow some confidence in yourself… he’s dating YOU, not a type. Otherwise your insecurities will drive him away.

My little sister and I worked at the same summer jobs and earned equally. I'm careful with money, but she buys herself everything she wants.

When broke, she asks our parents for more. I'm upset that she keeps getting money from them shamelessly. How can I complain without sounding greedy?

Upset

Some lifetime advice: Don’t compare yourself to your sister. Be proud of your own convictions. Talk to your parents about them, and discuss values with them. They’re the ones who have to worry about little Sis.

I’m dating a kind man who’s good to me. But his sleep apnea condition disturbs our friends, family, and me. One scary episode caused him to be hospitalized.

Yet he won’t use his sleep apnea machine, falls asleep with lit cigarettes, and drives while almost asleep at the wheel. We cannot go out much without him falling asleep.

Yet he refuses to change his lifestyle or take care of his health. I’m unsure how much longer I can handle this.

He has a young son whom he loves dearly, but even that won't have him change.

Wit’s End

You cannot be his monitor, or battle against his denial. Tell him you care for him, but cannot love a man who neither cares for himself nor those who love him, including his son.

Say that until he confronts the terrible risks he takes, and inflicts on others when driving, you cannot continue to date him. Mean it.