I'm 32, female, single, good-looking, successful and financially independent. For six months, I've been dating a man 14 years my senior, divorced with one kid.    
      He’s successful, runs a business in my city where he spends four days weekly and spends three days with his son in a different city. We see each other only once a week because of our/his busy schedule.      
      Early on, he said he’s not ready for a serious commitment and unsure if he wants to have children. I'm ready to get married and have a family. I'm very attracted to him and we seem compatible.    
      He sometimes acts like my boyfriend – I’ve had an injury and he takes me to doctor's appointments, and is concerned about me. But I’d like to see some progress in our relationship, which is stagnating.     
      Previously, he invited me to the city where he’s from, to the company party and mentioned going on a vacation; however, he never followed on these plans.    
      I don't want to waste my time. I'm also willing to give him an ultimatum. What should I do?
      - Restless and Annoyed

An ultimatum is just plain silly when this man already told you upfront that he’s not ready to be serious, and is slowly proving it, despite caring about you somewhat.    
      You want different things from what he’s able to provide. And you’re perfectly capable of moving on and looking for a potential partner. Tell him, and do it, now.

My father physically, emotionally and mentally abused my three younger siblings and me for more than a decade. It mostly subsided when I finally called the police to intervene.    
      Our family continues to be rife with power struggles and alliances (once needed for physical survival, but now a twisted psychological game).       
      One sister has lashed out at all of us, except for my father, who supports her totally. She’s lazy, doesn't work, has no life goals and I suspect suffers from severe depression.     
      She particularly lashed out at me, spreading rumors about me to mutual friends, teachers, doctors, employers, and her fiancé, including (false) stories of me abusing her.
      She even tried to convince my mother and our other siblings. I responded by ignoring her, moving out, eventually changing schools, employers and careers.      
      My mother and other siblings are stuck dealing with her and my father. My other siblings don’t have the financial means to leave. I feel guilty for leaving, but my work and personal relationships have flourished.       
      The family tried counseling, but my father and sister spend the entire session lying. I fear for the psychological and emotional health of my other siblings.
      - Worried and Guilty

Survival is still the key issue here and guilt is a waste of emotion. Turn your successful escape into a model for hope for your siblings.     
      See them individually and, without bad-mouthing the two disturbers, show the example of a life outside to which they can aspire in time.     
      Encourage their talents and getting ahead in education, plus earning money through part-time jobs. Help them search out available student loans.    
      Be prepared for backlash from your more difficult sister. If it’s ever possible to gain her interest, try to connect her with a doctor who’ll treat her depression. Offer to accompany her, show some caring and she might respond.     
      Or not. But remember – your father did this damage and you need to keep your resolve to stay above it; counselling will help if the family dynamics ever threaten to drag you down.

My boyfriend of four years is my best friend and I can't see myself without him. He’s 23, I’m 21, and we rarely have sex together (once a year). My self-esteem plummeted from his constant rejections. He won’t discuss the reasons.    
      I’ve cheated on him many times with two other men. It gives me my self-esteem back to have someone want me physically.    
      I constantly break up with him and then go back. I want a relationship where I don’t need to go elsewhere. He says he’ll change, but I don't believe him.
      - Frustrated

Tell your “boyfriend” you’re having sex elsewhere and watch his reaction: He doesn’t really care.    
      He’s either so performance-phobic, is gay, or conflicted about pre-marital sex for religious reasons, that he CANNOT change.    
      Meanwhile, you’re getting used to being a liar and cheater that is worse for your self-esteem. Be his true friend, grow up and find a real boyfriend.