Part two of tips, resources, and community support for single, low-income parents struggling to raise children on their own:

Reader #1 – “I'm a single mother of three daughters, aged seven, 14, and 15. Here are some things that helped me:

“A Divorce Care group (www.divorcecare.org) can be very supportive, whether you’re recently separated or long divorced, were common-law or legally married. Some of the locations offer Divorce Care 4 Kids at the same time. You also often learn there about services offered in your area.

“The Salvation Army can help with clothing, furniture, etc. They have a Women’s Centre in some locations, offering programs/group support and free counselling to women who’ve been abused (whether by a spouse, a parent, physical, or emotional abuse, etc). They'll also help with legal proceedings and go with you to court if needed.

“Most churches will offer support in many ways. This is also a place for acceptance.

“Many churches offer free weeknight activities for children - youth groups, kids clubs, etc. It’ll be a caring place of support for your children, who need it too. Some churches also have free clothing giveaways. Camp can be great for kids' sense of independence and competence, and allow a single parent a bit of a break as well. Some churches that run camps have funds for children who can’t pay the full amount or go free.

“Teenagers can start making their own money by becoming sports referees, or through part-time jobs.”

Reader #2 – “I’m a single mother (four children) who wrongly kept my troubles to myself out of shame and embarrassment. This created more stress on me, pretending we were “like” everybody else, but also didn't teach my kids that everyone should be respected equally.

“Fortunately, I learned to embrace my situation, hold my head high, and speak (not complain or be pitiful) about my situation. There is help out there, all you have to do is ask and keep telling your story.

“Coffee chain Tim Horton's corporate head offices have sponsorship/subsidies programs e.g. that send children to camp, and have partnerships with minor sports teams/leagues.

“If doing laundry’s a problem, rinse clothes out in sink or bath tub (with bar soap if necessary) and hang to dry on chairs, over shower rod, etc., so kids have clean clothes to wear. Laundromats are expensive. Use them for bigger items or thorough cleanings monthly.

“Ontario Works can provide money and help people find a job. You must need money right away to help pay for food and housing costs, and be willing to take part in activities that will help you find a job. It can also mean entitlement to receive other benefits and programs (i.e.: transportation, childcare, dental, health, etc). Look for similar assistance in your own province/state.

“In Canada, Employment Insurance (EI) provides temporary financial assistance to unemployed Canadians who’ve lost their job through no fault of their own, while they look for work or upgrade their skills.”

Reader #3 – “I've coached local sports for years and never turned anyone down who wanted to play. Some activities that don't take a lot of equipment are basketball and volleyball.

“If you can, offer to volunteer too, as most programs depend heavily on volunteer help. If you’re taking your child and hanging around anyway, get involved, you don't have to know the game. Just help organize and encourage kids’ efforts.

“Getting involved helps single parents through adult interaction too and can increase your circle of contacts for potential better-paying jobs.”

Reader #4 – “I became a single mom when my kids were eight and eleven.

“I showed them how to do laundry. At first they just washed what they wanted to wear the next day. Very soon they did all their own laundry and even helped me by washing towels and sheets.
“New clothes are expensive but almost new can be purchased quite economically. Try Value Village Thrift Stores, located across North America.

“Some extra-curricular sports are cheaper than others e.g. soccer doesn’t cost a lot in equipment. For house league hockey, there’s usually a skate/hockey sale of used equipment in the fall.

“Give children family time instead of material items they don’t need. Family skate, swim, walks, TV movie night with popcorn and snuggles, baking together, etc.

“My children are now 24 and 23. Both are working at the start of good careers. They didn’t need expensive clothes and activities to succeed.”