Upon hearing that my son's common-law wife's mother died, I dropped everything, and drove 70 miles to her funeral.

I stood in a hall awaiting my son, wife, and granddaughter so I could enter the chapel with them.

The mother’s best friend greeted me, turning to common-law's father. He said, “I know who she is!"

He was thanking everyone for coming, but I was completely ignored.

Finally, my son and my granddaughter, then three, met me in the hallway. When his common-law wife joined, she moved them into the chapel and I was left to go into the overflow room.

A week later, I spoke to my son about the disrespect I received. I was sorry she lost her mother but I didn't expect that kind of treatment. He later told common-law wife what I’d said and she apparently threw a fit.

I wrote to the funeral home noting that they hadn’t roped off rows for family and this had caused a rift in our family relationship. No response!

My son reported that she wants me to apologize to the funeral home, her father, her daughter, 12, from another marriage, and to her, for making a fuss. I said I have nothing to apologize for.

I saw my granddaughter Boxing Day 2011 for two hours and sent home gifts for all, and no thank you.

She turned four, I sent a card, and a cheque to buy her a birthday gift, but the cheque hasn’t been cashed. He didn't call me for mother's day or my birthday.

I know she wants me out of their life. I’m 77 with few years left and she’s denied my granddaughter a grandmother. What should I do?

Missing My Grandchild 

Gather the wisdom of 77 years and know that life’s far too short to stay distant.

You unwittingly reveal a lot of attitude about your daughter-in-law by repeatedly referring to her as “common-law” – negative distancing she clearly feels.

She’s his life partner, the mother of your granddaughter. Her 14-year-old is part of your family, too. If you don’t accept these facts, she won’t accept you. Neither can he, if you raised him to be an upstanding husband and father.

She’d lost a mother, and likely knew you weren’t there for her, just your son. Her father was rude, but had his own grief. Writing the funeral parlour was a mistake, bound to reflect badly on your DIL and her father.

If you want to be in your grandchild’s life, apologize.

I got a C on my math quiz. I'm an A student, with an occasional B. I got straight A's and one B on all my math tests and quizzes this term, and then... this.

So how do I tell my mom I got a C?

Scared to Tell

Speak to your teacher and learn why you got a C. It’s an opportunity to find out what element you misunderstood or didn’t know, in order to do better next time.

Teachers appreciate honest curiosity about low marks, so long as you’re interested in learning, not just getting higher marks.

Then you can explain the mark to your mom. If you’re truly “scared” to tell her, be sure you talk to your teacher about that level of pressure at home. Perhaps you can get extra help in any area of math that’s hard for you.

If you just feel awkward telling Mom, describe what happened, and she’ll understand that you’re going to improve in this area.

I take issue with the way my stepchildren raise their kids. Pop or chocolate drinks, donuts for breakfast, fast food three to four times weekly, and TV till they fall asleep.

The parents bristle at my suggestions that milk, early bedtimes, and three meals with veggies are better.

One child, five, had to have four rotten teeth removed.

My partner says ‘let adults make their own choices.’ She has a better relationship with her kids than I do with mine, but mine make good choices. Do I bite my tongue?

Agitated Observer

Bite. Your “suggestions” sound like criticism, and busy parents don’t respond well to that.

However, they do learn from professionals, such as dentists, family doctors, and parenting websites. So instead of ranting, do some research and occasionally mention an article, e.g. on latest findings on the effects of “screen time,” etc.

BUT, keep comments to a minimum, and encourage them for what they do well.