I met a guy a couple of weeks ago, at a play that I went to alone, and he also went alone. He asked for my number, but when he didn't contact me within a few days, I assumed he wasn't interested.

He then texted me seven days after we’d met to see if I'd like to have dinner. The date went really well ending with him asking me to a dinner party at his brother’s place two days later.
He then texted the day of the dinner party to cancel because he came down with the flu. He said he’d contact me when he felt better.

I sent him a text a day later commenting on a movie recommendation, something we’d talked about, so he could watch something while he was sick.

He said thank you and that was about it.

It's been four days since he’s been sick and I haven't heard from him. Do you think I scared him away by texting him? How long should I wait to hear from him before moving on?

Calendar Watcher

When did YOU last have the flu? This recent one going around has lasted up to two weeks for some people I’ve known. They sure didn’t feel like communicating cheerily with people they didn’t know well, during that time.

More important, is the anxious sense of time-checking you reveal – ticking off days, and measuring their imagined significance with a near stranger.

There’s also the Big Clue, your question: Should you be “moving on?” From what? It’s clear you need to get some perspective into your dating life.

These early days of meeting someone, text contact, and a dinner together, are NOT a relationship, not even a friendship. They are introductory steps only.

Given that he’s been ill, there’s nothing you can assume about this guy so far. But if you keep up your clock-watch behavior, he can assume you’re pushing for a relationship way too soon.

I'm planning our 25th anniversary party for lots of friends and family. However, my brother and father haven't spoken in years (a disagreement over real estate after my mother's passing).

My brother occasionally asks about our father, but my father has never asked (no other siblings). He has a history of not speaking to relatives, usually over something seeming-petty.
I'd really like them both to be at our party. I don't think my brother will have an issue, but my father might leave.
Should I tell them that the other is going to be invited? And if my father says he won't go, what then? I'm always in the middle of these family disagreements.

Reluctant Peacekeeper

Get out of the middle and let them resolve what is their problem not yours. Invite them both.

Your father’s the more stubborn one, and will likely not attend. That’s his choice, just as it’s always been his choice to distance himself. If he doesn’t ask ahead and shows up when your brother’s there, act natural.

Whatever he says, e.g. how could you not tell me? Respond that of course you’d invite your brother and your father, they’re your closest people. If he makes a fuss, be pleasant, tell him you love him, but it’s your big event and he’ll have to leave.

IF, knowing yourself far better than I do, you believe you can’t handle this, just invite one (I’d say your brother) and have Dad over for a small celebration the next day.

FEEDBACK Regarding the woman complaining about her mother-in-law and sister-in-law not helping her (Dec. 13):

Reader – “Perhaps her approach is a big part of the problem. Even though her MIL and SIL don't work, that doesn't mean their days/evenings aren't full. It sounds like she doesn’t ask what they might be able to do - i.e. she “requested” they babysit overnight.

“When my children were young, my in-laws didn’t babysit. They’d already raised a number of kids and were tired. Plus, if they babysat for everyone, they’d have no life of their own.

“My parents helped with the occasional overnight visit, but didn’t want to be the first call for routine babysitting. My husband and I accepted this without hurt feelings. We built a network of friends and neighbours with young kids, who all helped each other out with babysitting. I also kept an eye out for responsible teenagers for paid babysitting times.”