My husband and I recently married but dated for years and lived together. Recently, I feel increasingly neglected. He has only one close friend, who's an alcoholic, and a "player" who doesn't work.

My husband's either at work or, if home, his friend is over and they're drinking together.

If we talk, he just complains about his work and doesn't take a serious interest in my life. His friend sleeps over at least two nights weekly and I have to clean up after him since they're always running off during the days. I've asked him to reduce the amount of sleepovers, and that he be the one to clean up after his friend.

I've asked him to make more time for us, but it never happens. He'll only go out with me if his friend can come. Am I expecting too much or missing something here?

Trapped and Alone

What's missing is your voice, and your footsteps out the door if no one's listening. This pattern must've gone on before, so it's hard to know how you could've expected it would change after a wedding. This is not a healthy marital relationship for you, nor is it a healthy friendship for your husband who's clearly drinking too much, too.

Speak up, state what you can accept and what you cannot, and ask for some reasons for why you're being ignored, and if the answers don't satisfy you, see a lawyer.

I love my boyfriend of two years - we have many plans for the future and our values and goals mesh perfectly.

Shortly into dating, he wanted to move in with me. I stated clearly, repeatedly, that I'd only move in with the man I'm going to marry, so he had to be sure of that.

He said unequivocally that he was sure. We've now lived together for 20 months but he still hasn't proposed. I'm 32, (he's 27) and he knows I'm feeling some pressure about biological realities and wanting children.

He's previously said he wanted to feel more stable in his career and finances. Last September he began working at a very stable job, which pays very well. Now, he "thinks" he still wants to marry me, but doesn't know how to be 100% sure.

I do not want to get married immediately and pregnant right away but I need to know that this is a sure bet, as I feel time's slipping away while he tries to decide "for sure" (again). He has some depression issues and is now in therapy.

I feel like I have no control over this situation, making me feel very anxious about my future. I don't want to make some kind of ultimatum or deadline because I don't want to pressure him, and I want to be with him more than anything. I'm scared though, that if I wait too long I'll lose my chance to have children.

Worried

Your biological clock has several years' slow ticking ahead, so you have time to give yourself, say, a year's deadline, to ease up on your fears. He needs some time to deal in therapy with whatever causes his depressions. In a few months, strongly suggest that he discuss this decision and his dithering and delays, with his therapist.

Also suggest that you two work out some of this dynamic - your pressure, his withdrawal - in couples' counselling. After a year, if nothing changes, make your own decision.

My friend has to "know everything"... she's always fishing for information. She asks questions that make you think, "What does it matter?"

A group of us gals were having a drink at a bar recently, I was talking to a male friend. This woman called me days later and asked if I had trouble getting a taxi home. What she really wanted to know was if my male friend gave me a ride.

I find all the nosiness irritating. Could it be that she doesn't have enough going on in her life?

Curious

Yes. Or, it could be that she's trying to get closer to you. And that nobody's ever said to her straight up, "Hey, if I wanted you to know I would've told you already."

Weigh the friendship. If there's other value in it, if she's a good-hearted person and loyal friend, just change the topic when she asks too much.