I love my wife immensely, and feel the same love from her. Recently, I had a blow-up with her sister and brother-in-law. My wife and I were high-school sweethearts for seven years, but we parted and both had other marriages that didn't work.

We re-connected and moved together five years ago, married two years ago. Last year, my wife said her sister had been in private contact with my wife's ex-husband for the past five years.

I then distanced from them a little, they asked my wife why, and one day I received a text message from my sister-in-law about it. I responded that I found it sneaky and dishonest, she should've told us long ago. I can't stand when family members act dishonestly. But, she is my wife's sister...

This is the second time in two years that I've caught my wife's sister in a lie and I don't want to let it go this time. Am I being the jerk here?

Not Feeling Guilty

You're overreacting. Though it's based on the emotional roller coaster you experienced, divorcing and getting back to your first love, it's over. And your unforgiving anger should also be gone.

Whatever your sister-in-law's contact, it no longer matters. Maybe she'd had a real friendship with the ex, maybe he pressured her to stay in touch...

She IS your wife's sister, and you cannot assume control over their right to have a relationship. If you show generosity as a relative, she may learn she can be open with you.

My husband of seven years has a sister who disapproved of his marrying me. She was rude, cold, mean and emotionally scarred me. My husband tried talking to her, but she continued, until I had enough.

We haven't been on speaking terms with his sister for five years. My MIL has been part of our lives but on holidays, she'll choose to be with her daughter instead of her son. So I invite my family and his parents over here for holidays, but he's not invited to his parents' home for extended family gatherings

He keeps quiet about it, but sometimes he can be very mean to me and doesn't communicate.

Also, we've been trying to have another child. He says he's always tired, but I believe it's an excuse. He has a low sex drive (once a month, erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation). He feels that it's not medical.

I believe it's about all the stuff on his mind. It's making me miserable and resentful. I've thought about giving up, but we have a child. What should I do to save my marriage?

Frustrated

Unless you and your husband have specialized medical and psychology degrees, stop distracting yourself with guesses and denials.

He needs to get checked for health factors that can affect sexual function. If clear, you both need to come up with a better solution to one relative's nastiness, than excluding him from his entire family.

If you refuse to try to repair the rift, he should go on his own when his whole family's gathered. It's NOT an acceptance of your SIL's behaviour, rather it's acceptance that HE has a need and right to this connection. (See above letter, too).

For the sake of creating a better partnership, you too could go along to larger family events where you can stay apart from his sister.

After all, if his sexual difficulties are emotionally based, he needs your support instead of your judgment.

My close friend's boyfriend broke it off after two years. She was heart-broken and I helped her get though it. It's been a year. They both live in the same building and we all have mutual friends.

I've started having feelings for her ex - we flirt with each other and I can't stop dreaming about him!! I know my friend's still not over him, She confides in me and I don't want to hurt her. What should I do?

Torn

Wake up! The reality show you'll create from dreams about this guy will make a nightmare of your closer friendship.

Listening to her confidences now, will have you looking like a sneak later - to mutual friends, too - if you pursue this flirtation. To you, he's still only a crush with possibilities. But to her, he's a full-on relationship that became heartache.

Back off, you're in a no-go danger zone.