During a trial separation, I learned my wife was pregnant, and tried to make things work. Following a nasty divorce, I didn’t see my little girl for 10 years; when she turned 18, I contacted her.      
      All my emotions came out at once and I badly mishandled the situation by going nuts over the girl. My second wife, initially cooperative, got so turned off that she issued an ultimatum: choose between her or my daughter.      
      Then another bombshell: My first wife said my twin brother was the likely father, not me.      
      I’d found and lost my “daughter;” my own family’s still angry that I couldn't forgive my twin - I lost all contact.
      Until that ultimatum I had a good marriage. Ironically, the bombshell saved us. Recently, I found my “niece” again on Facebook and I still miss her so badly. I contacted her and all is forgiven between us.    
      But I’d promised my wife not to contact her, and she refuses to discuss it or go for counselling.   
      I cannot stop thinking about her; neither do I want to ruin my wife's trust and my marriage. I have no other children (or family) here.
      - Impossible Choice

Proceed slowly and delicately - your daily life and comfort are connected primarily to your wife. She felt cast aside before; you’d have to convince her now that a relationship with your niece is beneficial to her, too.    
      Tell her that you think the younger woman would admire her and have much to learn from her, if they met. But don’t pressure her. Meanwhile, consider ways you can get the two to meet - perhaps at a concert, play, community event, to which you both invite your niece.    
      And don’t rush the girl with private, secretive contact. Send cards for occasions and let her know you care about her, but that you both need time for her to become part of your current family.

We’re both romantic, so when my husband proposed last summer that we marry immediately, we secured a City Hall date the following Thursday. My ENTIRE family walked out abruptly, after the ceremony, due to my mother having a scheduled biopsy the next day. I know we were impetuous, but we had a blast.
Now, my brother’s engaged, as is one of my dearest friends, who had chosen her date and venue, and I’m in the wedding party.
My brother’s "thinking” about marrying that same day, without care for her feelings OR mine. I asked them to re-consider. Otherwise, we’ll have to leave my brother's wedding to travel to my best friend's.
My family says I’m completely unreasonable, despite that my mother essentially ruined my wedding day.
How can I explain to that this double standard cannot continue? I’m happy to be told I’m wrong, but how do I resolve this with an unreasonable family?
- Feeling Stuck

You’re wrong. Worse, you’re as stuck in double standards as you believe your family is. You devastated your mother when you ignored her health fears (it could’ve been cancer she was facing, perhaps it was).
That didn’t mean you and Hubby couldn’t make your own wedding choices, but there wasn’t a shred of thoughtfulness or inclusiveness in you.
Yet that’s what you now want from your brother, with everyone else to follow. He, too, has a right to choose his own date. But if you choose your friend’s event over his, you’re widening the family divide, which you helped create.

I’m in my 30s, had four long-term relationships, including a 10-year marriage. I’ve realized that I’m power hungry and like to have things my way.
I’ve always ended up the dominant partner making all decisions. I’m empowered by being in control; don’t allow myself to be vulnerable. This has played a major part in dissolving my past relationships.
I’m currently seeing someone.  How do I hand over some of that control, when all I know how to do is to take charge?
- Fighting Myself

Create a decision-chat process together. Listen to his feelings before you start overselling yours. Explain your preferences, make sure you fully understand his, and then compromise wherever possible.
Negotiate on what matters and discard the small stuff, e.g. white couch or grey? It’s unimportant and you’ll likely buy another in time. Note: being vulnerable is also “empowering,” because it provides the opportunity for you partner to show his love.