I only went out once with this guy, who told me immediately that he wanted to continue dating me, felt something special about me, etc.

I replied that I liked him and agreed to continue dating to know each other better.

Two days after our first date, he said he wants to take his online page down, and date me alone. I replied that it’d be premature, as we have only just met.

He became very offended that I’d want to continue dating him, while remaining open to dating others. He said it’s a game he doesn’t want to be a part of.

Is he wrong to corner me like this into making a decision? Or is he onto something here? He said he agrees to taking it slow and taking time getting to know each other, but insists it’s disrespectful to continue dating without being exclusive.

He also accused me of being hypocritical and not having any feelings for him.

My position is that we simply don't know each other well enough to make the call about dating exclusively, and that there’s nothing wrong with dating several different people simultaneously, as long as neither of us is in a committed relationship.

Who’s right here?

Rushed to Exclusivity

He’s pressuring you into a commitment to test-drive each other exclusively, when your feelings and his, no matter how interested, are based on less information about each other than you’d research about buying a new car.

He’s got you baffled about your wise decision to refuse that commitment, by inventing his own dating code, and that it’s “disrespectful” to date others.

Wrong. When you’ve only been out together once, it’s none of his business whom else you do or do not date. For a while.

Sure, after several dates, if interest is mutual and you’ve found more in common, and you’re starting to get physical, it’s up for discussion again. He could ask then to be exclusive. You could both take down profiles on dating sites.

But one date? This could easily be a signal of insecurity, neediness, even control. It’s not right for you. And neither is he, if he refuses to understand and accept this.

My mother-in-law suffered from clinical depression and schizophrenia following the tragic loss of her husband many years ago. She's on medication that keeps it all in check, and my wife and I attributed it to the circumstances of her life.

Several years ago my sister received a similar diagnosis. She's also receiving treatment but has constant ups and downs. I recently learned that there are several other relatives in my family who have suffered in similar ways.

My wife and I don't show any signs of it, but with so many cases of mental illness on both sides of the family, I’m extremely worried about our kids, ages three and five.

Are they at high risk? Is there anything we can do as parents? Are there signs we should be looking for?

Fearing Bad Genes

Talk to your doctor and get real information about hereditary aspects of mental illness.

Meanwhile, try not to be over-anxious about your children, which can build fears in them from your worried watchfulness, negative anticipation, and untrained, wrong diagnoses.

If the children are behaving normally, don’t see this as the calm before the storm. Raise them with unconditional love and absolute encouragement, and that foundation will help them through any trials ahead, which are potentially possible for everyone’s children.

FEEDBACK Regarding the young man and his bullying mother (March 2):

Reader – He’s an adult, paying for his own wedding - he has the absolute right to invite whomever he wants. However, this is about his mother's controlling, boorish behaviour. If she insists on attempting emotional blackmail - exactly her stunt – that’s her choice, not his job nor responsibility to fix.

Ellie – Yours is an understandable reaction, and it may work to teach her new boundaries. Or, it may not.

My tendency is to promote trying compromise over major events like a wedding, as they otherwise leave lasting resentments.

An adult child like this man may be “right” to stick to his guns, but the parent-child emotions get sticky as people age, as mothers need care, as sons/daughters have their own families.

Compromise may also not work. But at least there was an attempt, and perhaps at least the wedding has decent family memories. Worth a try.