We’ve been dating for 18 months; she says the L word frequently, yet I can’t do the same. I really like, admire and trust her; we get along very well.
Recently, she’s been questioning why I don’t say it. I have no answer. I was divorced five years ago and she’s been divorced (second time) for one year.
Am I the rebound man? Will she dump me and look elsewhere for that person who can say, I love you?

- Perplexed

You’re behaving more as a Reaction Man, rather than someone who takes action - making it possible that she will get tired of waiting for you to speak up.
You need to decide whether your feelings are deep enough to take a risk on moving forward with the relationship. That doesn’t mean rushing into marriage. But it does mean being fair and honest with her about your concerns, and about wanting to feel more secure about her committment, too.

When my husband of two years and I are on our own, we’re very happy. My parents help us, support us and can spend time with us without any troubles. But his parents have always been an issue for me.  My husband says he’s “used to it.”
My in-laws make constant demands, and he doesn’t to stand up to them. For holidays, there’s no discussion, it’s automatically assumed we’ll have dinner there; there’s no consideration for my family, or opportunity for my husband and I to host.
My in-laws rented a cottage during my holidays – nice, but they didn’t ask us if that was something we’d like.
Our marriage and decisions are never respected by his parents, and he does nothing about it. He says, “I can’t change them.”
I believe that the fact their only child got married means requires change, adjusting, working together. But all there’s been is troubles between my husband and I whenever they’re involved.

- Frustrated

You’re right that change is required, wrong that it only has to come from your in-laws. You could apply some compassion to understanding that you did marry an only child, and Hubby and his parents need your help in adjusting.
They were wrong to make “family” plans without discussion, but you can turn that around in a co-operative way, compromising way without calling it “troubles.”
Work out with your husband which dinners you’d like to host yourselves- these could include both sides of family. Then tell your in-laws – graciously – of your plans. Their main fear is likely that they’ll be left alone on holidays, and not see their son, so give them time to digest the new schedule. Just don’t be bossy about it, as if it’s a punishment.
Then, make your own vacation plans well ahead and inform them. If you two want to go off alone, do so. However, you can suggest that if they rent a cottage another time, you’d visit on weekends.

I’ve been dating a man for six months who’s 12 years younger than me, from a different country, and of a different race. I think I love him, but is there a future for us?

- Too Many Differences?

Consider what’s similar between you, before weighing your chances for a successful relationship. Example, how close are your values, goals, interests, attitudes?
Then look at the usual “complications” – do you agree about having or raising children, about merging lifestyles, on sharing financial matters, on relationships to your own families, parents, etc. The “future” will become clearer.

My husband of 30 years doesn’t care about anything. He only recently quit smoking after a diagnosis of bladder cancer.
I do everything - banking, shopping, bills, paperwork etc.
He works nights, sleeps in the day, eats and watches watch TV. He makes no time for us.
We raised two children but I did the disciplining. Now, 27 and 22, they’ve stopped listening to rules, answer back and just come home to eat and sleep.
Hubby doesn’t talk or want to do anything, and kids are alike.

- Alone

Wake them all up! Stop making dinner, get out with friends, join a gym, create a separate life.
Tell your kids to move out as soon as possible, or pay rent and pitch in at home.
Tell Hubby he’s wasting the years he has left… but you won’t do so any more, and will now live less as housekeeper, more as independent roommate.