My husband moved out with another girl and I’m pregnant with his baby. He said he’s just giving me a lesson and another chance to change. He accused me of cheating on him, though he’s the one who did.
What stressed me most is they moved one block away. I can’t take a walk because I’m afraid I’ll see them together and it hurts me.
He still has access to my place and sometimes sleeps here and sometimes visits me at work. He says he’s just using the girl for financial reasons, that he’ll come back and still loves me.
I want to start a new life.
Every time he sees something new in my apartment or I have new stuff he accuses me of having an affair with a wealthy man.
Should I move to a place were he couldn’t find me?
I don’t want to be with him anymore.
I’m hoping that the reason you want to move on is that you know you deserve better than this jerk, whose “lessons” are part of his controlling, jealous, and selfish behaviour.
He’s showing no responsibility, to his unborn child, so there’s little chance he’d improve as a father.
I suspect you fear a harsh reaction if you were to just state you want a divorce, so I recommend you connect with a group that helps women make a safe plan to leave. They’re experienced with finding accommodation, arranging for help with the birth and with your baby, and giving legal advice regarding child support.
They’ll also advise you about how to manage the break from him. Call a women’s helpline in your community to connect with this help.
• In Ontario, the Assaulted Women's Helpline. 1-866-863-0511 (toll-free), or 416-863-0511 (Toronto), is a 24/7, free, anonymous, and confidential telephone crisis line. See www.awhl.org for more information.
Last year, my son, now 17 and a high school senior, started to hang out more with one friend, and their group expanded.
He’s admitted to smoking cigarettes and trying alcohol, after we found evidence. He said he’s just a social smoker and plans to quit in a couple of years.
But his friend’s mother told me the boys don’t smoke or drink. She’s either in denial or lying.
Over the summer, he’s been coming home at 11PM weeknights and 12AM weekends – our curfew – then staying up playing computer games, downloading music and surfing the Internet until 4 or 6AM. He’ll then sleep until 3 or 4PM. Then he goes out again until curfew.
My husband says this is normal teenage boy behaviour.
I have several friends with boys the same age and they share similar stories.
Is this normal teenage behavior?
- Mom Can’t sleep
Teenagers need parental guidance and involvement during this period of seeking independence and making more choices on their own.
Your son’s having totally unstructured time was a set-up for him to experiment. Had he been occupied with a part-time job, participation in a sports league, a volunteer activity or a summer course, he’d have been less able to just hang out.
Back in school now, he’ll be busy again, but he needs to be involved in something extra which helps build his self-worth and sense of responsibility.
Also, you still have a role to play in informing him that drinking under age can cause him problems with the law, and that you require limits on his Internet use to keep him from being obsessed with it.
I’ve learned that my older brother is a transsexual considering having a sex change and changing his name.
It’ll take some time to adjust to this, but I think that over time it’ll be okay.
My problem is that I have two children, ages six and four, who know their uncle as a man, but will someday see him dressed as a woman with a new name.
How can I answer their questions on what they are seeing and why?
- Dad Needs Help
The children will naturally follow your lead, which appears to be open and accepting.
Get more informed about diversity in sexual orientation, and the process of sex change, but keep your answers age-appropriate for your children.
So long as you show love and understanding to your brother, they only need to hear enough to be comfortable with “her,” when the time comes; later they’ll ask her themselves.
Tip of the day:
Partners who’re always giving “lessons” in behaviour, are usually controllers, not teachers.