My wife dislikes going places with me. I thought travel and staying in London, Paris and Rome were places she might like, but all she could do is complain. Yet she refused to get involved with any of the planning stages.    
      My wife has also refused to help me out with medical appointments for which I need her to drive me home because I’ll have been sedated.    
      She wonders why we’re drifting apart. Is there anything you can suggest that I might say to tell her how to save our marriage?
      - Lonely

Your wife has already packed up and taken her own trip away from this marriage, emotionally, by cutting you out. But it’s a nasty deal and one you needn’t just accept.      
      The crucial question is this: Does she want to save your marriage? If she’s finished even trying, then you both need to consider how you want to handle the future.     
      However, if she’s unwilling to talk this out, you can then tell her that there are plenty of women who’ll be thrilled to go to London, Paris and Rome. And that any one of them will happily drive you when needed.    
      Your wife needs to understand the ultimate consequences of her cold behaviour.

I’m 23 and living independently; my boyfriend lives at home completing his university degree. His parents are very involved in his life, treating him as if he’s a teenager. I feel I must invent an excuse as to why he spent the night at my place.     
      Being at such different stages in our lives is frustrating. His mom’s always hinting that he stays over too much, but she’s too nice to confront either of us.      
      However, they’re always texting him, asking what he’s doing. My parents never cared where I was. Is his attachment to his parents normal?
      - Frustrated

Lucky you to have a boyfriend whose family relationships are so healthy. There’s obvious caring, respect and responsibility between them all. If you two stay together, he’s likely to be a great partner for the future.    
      Their family dynamic is confusing to you because it differs from your own, but the circumstances are also very different.     
      He’s being supported to get his education; his parents have every right to be mindful of the time he spends away overnight (and away from his studies). They’re helping him for his future, yet they’re not confronting you or directly interfering.      
      Appreciate them, if you want this relationship to last. If they see that you value their involvement with your guy, they’ll relax more about your relationship.

Our son, who’s working and living in Seoul, is marrying in the fall in Korea. We’re planning an engagement party when the couple visits this summer.     
      Since they can’t bring gifts back to Korea, we’d like to suggest that guests give money instead. How can we do that without sounding tacky and rude?    
      Also, some out-of-town friends aren’t likely to attend.  We’d like them to know NOT to send a gift if they can't make it. How do we convey this?
      - No Offense

To openly solicit cash gifts is tacky. However, to inform guests that gift items can’t be transported is reasonable. At the bottom of the invitation, add a simple note: “Please note that Howard and Sandra can’t carry gift items back to Korea.”
      The same note goes on the out-of-towners’ invitation. You can phone personally, saying you didn’t want them to feel any obligation, especially if they’re not attending.

My brother, 20, doesn’t listen to my parents; he just yells back. When they leave on weekends, he has parties that trash the house. My mom doesn’t say anything about it.
      He never pays back money, though he has a full-time job. Now he steals it from me. I fight with mom about him because he should help around the house, but leaves his messes for my sisters and me to clean up.     
      I’d rather move out though I’m only 18, I’ve already looked up places to live far away.
      - Fed Up

It’s your brother who should move out. Instead of fighting, talk to mom reasonably and say how you and your sisters feel. Tell her he’s unfairly disrupting everyone’s home life.    
      Since he’s working, he can afford to move. You should not leave hastily. If you can go to school and work part-time, you’ll gain independence in time.