I’m 34, my husband and I started dating when I was 20. He knew I was a smoker then. I don’t smoke in the house or around him at all. I do smoke in my car, which he borrows.     
      He gets extremely mad about the expense of cigarettes and is now threatening to leave. I believe I have the right to choose to smoke and shouldn’t feel guilty about it.
      - My Choice

If smoking is more important to you than your marriage to this man, then puff away. “Rights” are not the real issue or else HE has an equal right not to smell your smoky car, breath, clothing, etc. (You’re fooling yourself if you don’t think he’s exposed to some second-hand smoke).    
      You’re both stubbornly maintaining a standoff and ignoring two serious realities: 1) Smoking is a difficult addiction to shake so if you wanted to do so, you need encouragement, not threats; 2) Both smoking and second-hand smoke have proven health detriments; ignoring these risks is both unhealthy and unfair.    
      Your husband may be desperately trying to save the marriage, though anger and threats aren’t helpful. But what are you doing in return - having another smoke? If you make no effort to quit (there are proven methods) you’ll end up on your own.

My spouse and I have different approaches to parenting. Friends, co-workers and family refer to me as easy-going and patient. I can sometimes lose my temper with my kids but I almost never curse.    
      My spouse is a good parent, usually supportive and nurturing, plus very organized, precise and intelligent. But she has a short fuse and will often resort to anger, yelling and cursing - at me and the children - even telling us to “f” off.      
      It happens frequently enough (once or twice a week) that it’ll have a negative effect on my children's self-esteem and convey wrong lessons on how to deal with stress. It doesn't help my own self-esteem either.    
      I'm sure it’s frustrating for someone who operates at a high level of precision to understand people who are laid-back and disorganized, but to yell and curse doesn’t seem a logical corrective measure.    
      I suspect we need counselling, for her, for the family altogether and possibly us. How do I raise this without it becoming an uncomfortable fight with abusive language directed again at me?  
      - Frustrated

Children soon get the differences in how parents react and generally can handle it. Much depends on how their parents interpret what’s happening.     
      A “good, supportive, nurturing mother” can get away with some outbursts, if they’re not reacted to as heavy assaults. I’m not saying that you should accept or condone abusive language, but in front of the children, I’m suggesting you consider it mom’s “venting.”    
      You need counselling together, as a couple and as parents. Most couples have some differences in personal and parenting style and while cursing is never a positive trait, laid-back and disorganized isn’t always helpful either.
      Meanwhile, an atmosphere of “mine is the better way,” will always keep you divided, with her swearing and you resenting.

Some of our friends are more affluent than we are; we get along great, but my husband and I can’t keep affording the expensive restaurants and vacations they often choose. How do we handle this?
      - Uncomfortable

Provide some alternative get-togethers: casual barbecue dinners and potluck parties at your place, etc. Organize movie nights and watch for free n’ fun community events to invite your pals.     
      Never apologize for affording less.

I’m a man, 48, in a committed, loving, unmarried 10-year relationship with a woman who’s 50. A ring is not on my agenda. Been there, done that. Still paying. To those who argue we might as well marry, as we’re already considered married in the eyes of the law, I say: The whole concept is flawed and outdated.    
      Common-law partners have more control over the property that they bring into a relationship; and dissolving a common-law union can be much easier (with less legal bills). The notion that a woman isn’t truly complete until she’s married isn’t a balanced/fair approach.
      - Different View

You say, “The decision is best left to each person.” Unfortunately, in many of the questions I receive, the writer (male or female) feels the decision is being made by the other person’s refusal to marry, but not by a mutual and equal decision. That situation’s equally unbalanced.