I’m 33; my husband’s daughter, 23, from his first marriage, has stolen jewellery from me, personal banking information prescription medications, plus pictures of my kids from my computer (now on her Facebook). She’s also stolen money from her half-sister.    
      She’s threatened me both by voicemail and email, bad-mouthed me widely, insulted me and now attacks my parenting because I refuse any contact between her and my two daughters, ages 6 and 10. They don’t want anything to do with her.      
      She's a drug addict and an alcoholic, had an abortion at five months along and thought it was "cool.”    
      However, my husband REFUSES to say anything to her! He says, "she won't stop no matter what (I) say," and, since they have no contact – though we live in the same town - it's “not his problem.”    
      I’ve told him that his NOT saying anything hurts me more than the things that she says about me, but he's unmoved. To me, it’s the ultimate disrespect. Am I wrong to EXPECT him to say something, anything, out of respect for me as his wife and mother of his children?
      - Fed Up

You bet, he should do something! His taking no supportive action exacerbates the hurt, humiliation and frustration she causes you.      
      But you’re both ducking the main issue: You fight with him, he does nothing, and meanwhile, there’s a toxic elephant between you in the form of this out-of-control angry woman. She’ll ruin your relationship unless something changes.    
      You’re right to keep your daughters away from her. Now tell Helpless Hubby that at the next incident – whether theft of personal property or any form of harassment – you’ll involve the police UNLESS he gets off his excuses and visits his daughter to talk to her himself.      
      As difficult as she is, she’s young, his and needs help if at all possible. Maybe she’s trying to get his attention, to have it out between them (just as you seem to have that problem with him).     
      Maybe she’s simply vindictive and dangerous to you and the kids and he needs to threaten her with calling the police if there’s further trouble. But maybe he could also at least try to get her somewhere to deal with her addictions and fury.

I've been suffering from severe depression for as long as I can remember. I moved to a new country hoping it was the positive change I needed. But my best friend won't talk to me and my girlfriend of six years split from me.
       I've been going to therapy and it’s helped a bit, but I just don't see light at the end of the tunnel. I’m even spending holidays alone.
      - Any Advice?

The “light” is within you, but you have to be pro-active in finding it. Do NOT be alone, especially on weekends and holidays. Volunteer at a children's hospital ward, or in a seniors' home, anywhere you can be with people and bring them some company, while having some yourself.      
       If you end up alone and depressed, keep away from alcohol and have the number of your local distress centre handy (in the Yellow Pages). Experienced staff will listen to and respect your feelings, and refer you to appropriate resources.     
       Meanwhile, continue with your therapy, when depression is helped even “a bit,” it’s a step in the right, healthier direction. Also, focus on activities that interest you and where you can meet like-minded people.

Dear Readers - Here are a couple of emails from readers responding to my columns and passing on their experiences hoping they are helpful to others:
      Reader - I spent years dealing with my husband’s low libido. He professed his love but insisted men “normally” lose their sex drive. Various doctors gave him drugs but nothing helped.      When growths were found in his breasts he was sent to a specialist regarding breast cancer, but tests proved negative. Finally, after many years, it was revealed he had a tumor on his pituitary gland.       With proper treatment he now has a normal libido. I thought your readers might be interested.
       - Lost and Found
      Reader - My early-talking granddaughter called me Mom, though I repeatedly said I’m Grandma - I guess because she called her father's Mom, “Grandma.”     One day I asked if she’d like to call me “Babba.” She was so overjoyed and repeated it as “Bubby, Bubby.” Perhaps that family having trouble calling a step-grandma Grandma should let their children decide. Babies are smarter than adults sometimes.
       - Still Bubby